Life is full of disappointment, and when someone disappoints you, you may feel angry, betrayed, sad or inconvenienced. Since we haven’t discovered any mind readers among us, you must figure out what to say when someone disappoints you so the person knows how you feel, and better yet, how to fix the issue.
This is easier said than done of course, because when someone disappoints you, the emotions you feel may be too overpowering. Figuring out what to say becomes difficult, especially since you don’t want to cause offense or lash out.
It’s important to remember that at the end of the day, this is someone that matters to you. Be careful when deciding what to say so no one gets hurt.
Here are some ideas on what to say when someone disappoints you:
5 best things to say when someone did not deliver what they promised you
We expect the people we care about to keep their word when they promise to do something for or with us. It is especially disappointing when you were depending on that thing for an important reason.
These are some examples of what to say when someone disappoints you by not delivering on a promise:
01“You know how important this was to me, yet you didn’t follow through. I shouldn’t have counted on you.”
Use this when you stressed the importance of the event or task to the person and a promise was made to deliver. It shows that you were doubtful the person could pull through, but you became convinced and got let down.
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02“I hate asking about the same thing repeatedly, but you led me to believe you could come through for me. I don’t understand why you would lie to me like that. I hope you know things won’t be the same after this.”
This is good to use when you kept following up with the person but only got empty promises. It says that your relationship will change because you’re hurt by what happened.
03“How could you watch me struggle so hard to get this done knowing you’d be unable to deliver on your promise? I’m so mad at you.”
Use this when the disappointment has made you angry because of the amount of work you put in only for it to fail.
04“You know how important this was to me. If you could not [insert task], why wouldn’t you tell me so I could ask someone else? Is this a game to you?”
Use this when the person had ample opportunity to back out and allow you to get a replacement, but they didn’t for some reason.
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05“I couldn’t manage everything myself. That’s why I asked for your help. It sucks to know that you’re not someone I can depend on.”
This is good to use when you thought you could depend on the person because you had a close relationship. This is a response you can use when you feel betrayed or let down.
5 best things to say when someone has been lying to you the entire time
Honesty should be at the foundation of every relationship, especially when you share intimate details with that person. It is hard to accept that someone you trusted would lie to you repeatedly, but it does happen.
This is what to say when someone disappoints you by lying:
06“Before I say something I’ll regret, I’ll give you a chance to explain why you lied to me this whole time.”
This is good to use when you are upset but you want to give the person a chance to fess up before you go ballistic on them.
07“Was any of this real this whole time? I can’t believe you lied to me.”
Use this when you are in disbelief, and you are heartbroken because of the lies.
08“I never lied to you or misled you because I considered you a good friend. Clearly, the feeling wasn’t mutual.”
Say this when you know you were a good friend, but the feeling wasn’t reciprocated. It lets the person know he/she lost a real one.
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09“I’ll never be able to believe a word you say again because you’ve been lying to me this entire time. I hope I find it in my heart to forgive you someday, but that day isn’t today.”
If you are heartbroken and betrayed, this is a good thing to say. It says that you want the person out of your life because you can’t forgive the lies.
10“I know you’re sorry for lying, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I need some time to myself to figure out what I’m going to do.”
Use this when you want to break up with or take a break from the person who lied to you. This is good to use when the person tries to say sorry.
5 best examples of what to say when someone disappoints you by throwing you under the bus
Our friends and family are supposed to have our backs through it all. But when they tattle on us or throw us under the bus, it says a lot about the relationship.
Here’s what to say when someone disappoints you by throwing you under the bus:
11“So much for having my back. I would have never ratted you out.”
This is good to use when you are a ride or die who would’ve never thrown your friend under the bus. It shows the difference between you and that person.
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12“Why did you throw me under the bus like that? I had to take the heat for something that wasn’t my fault.”
Use this when you went along with it because you didn’t want to expose or embarrass the person at the time, but you still feel offended because it happened without your knowledge.
13“I know you must walk on eggshells around him/her, but that doesn’t mean you can use me as a scapegoat for your mistakes.”
Say this when the person is on their last chance with someone, so they blame you for what happened. It says that blaming you was not right despite the circumstances.
14“I’m glad this happened. Now I know what kind of friendship we really have.”
It is good to say this when you take the disappointment as a lesson or revelation. It lets him/her know that you won’t have the same type of relationship from now on.
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15“If you wanted me to take the rap for you, you could’ve told me before instead of having me look crazy. Now everyone thinks I’m the bad guy.”
It is good to use this when the person blames you for something without asking for your permission, and now everyone looks at you differently. You’re not angry, just annoyed.
5 best things to say when you found someone doing something without integrity
We want to believe the people around us are honest people who do the right thing, but as you’ve discovered, this isn’t always the case. These are some examples of what to say when someone disappoints you by acting without integrity:
16“I know deep down you’re better than that, so I’m willing to give you a second chance if you fess up to what you did.”
Say this when you’re only willing to forgive the person if he/she admits to the wrong and/or apologized about it.
17“Was it worth it? I sure hope so because you just lost a friend.”
Use this when you are done with the person because of their actions and hope he/she did it for a good reason.
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18“Honesty is always the best policy. I still can’t believe you did that.”
Say this when you want to scold the person for the wrongdoing and show how disappointed you are in him/her.
19“This is not something I would expect from you. I know you’re a good person, but this really threw me for a loop.”
Use this when the action surprises you because you don’t know the person to be like that.
20“I’m ashamed to call you my [insert relationship]. You don’t do that type of thing to someone.”
This is good to use when the actions of the person cause you to feel embarrassed and disgusted.
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5 best things to say when someone is not being supportive to you during a tough time
The people we care for are expected to always be there for us, especially when we’re going through a difficult time. When they don’t show us support, it can make us feel lonely and betrayed.
This is what to say when someone disappoints you by being unsupportive when you need them:
21“I really needed a shoulder to lean on, and you left me in the dark. I thought you cared about me.”
This is good to use when you thought you had a close bond with the person, but apparently, you aren’t that close because when push came to shove, he/she was nowhere to be found.
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22“How could you say that when I have to deal with [insert problem]. It’s already tough on me and I don’t want to become enemies.”
Say this when the person said something so hurtful during your time of despair that you’d consider ending the relationship.
23“Why couldn’t I count on you when [insert instance]? Aren’t we [insert relationship]? “
Use this when you are out of a bad situation, and looking back, you realize the person did not have your back. Confronting the person about what happened will give you the answers you need and will tell you how to proceed.
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24“I never thought I’d have to face this alone, especially when I’ve been there for you through every tough time in your life.”
Use this when you have always been supportive of the person, so naturally, you expected to get the support back if you were ever in a bad situation. It is good to say this to show betrayal and sadness.
25“What kind of relationship is this if you can’t support me when I’m going through something? I guess I overestimated how important I am to you.”
It is good to say this when the relationship is not 50/50 and it took the bad situation to show you the reality of things.
5 examples of what to say when someone disappoints you and has made you feel upset
Upset in this sense relates to sadness because you thought things were different or you didn’t expect what happened. Disappointment can leave us heartbroken and can make us question everything we thought we knew about a person.
Here are 5 ideas on what to say when someone disappoints you and makes you feel upset:
26“You said I could count on you, but when the time came, you left me all alone. You don’t know how much this has affected me.”
You can use this in any situation where a promise was made to do something or to simply have your back. It shows that you are upset about being left hanging.
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27“I’ve shed tears over what happened because I thought this was a sure thing. Now I have to start all over.”
Use this when the disappointing situation has made you cry. It is good to use when you were working on something together and you were left to pick up the pieces alone.
28“I’m trying to not be upset over this, but it’s hard to accept that someone I know and love could do something like this to me.”
It is good to use this when you trusted the person deeply and you feel betrayed by their actions.
29“Because of what happened, my trust issues are on 10. How can I ever learn to trust you again?”
This is good to use when your trust was betrayed, and it has left you questioning everything and everyone you know.
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30“You knew I’d never approve of that, but you did it anyway. I want nothing to do with you anymore.”
Use this when the person does something you have already made clear you do not like or support, but it was disregarded. It also says you want the relationship to come to an end.
5 examples of what to say when someone disappoints you and has made you feel angry
It’s natural to feel angry when someone disappoints you, especially if that thing was important or costly for you. It’s sometimes better to channel this anger into something positive instead of taking it out on the person or someone else.
This is what to say when someone disappoints you and you want to let them know you’re feeling angry:
31“I’m so angry I could scream. What were you thinking?”
This is good to use when you’re mad, but you also want to know the reasoning behind what the person did.
32“How could you be so stupid? I know I raised you better than that.”
Use this as a parent or guardian who is disappointed in the foolish mistake or decision made.
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33“I hope you’re pleased with yourself because I want nothing more to do with you.”
Say this when you no longer want the person to be a part of your life because of their actions.
34“I won’t let myself get consumed by anger because it has already passed and gone. I just want you to know that you lost someone who would give you the world.”
This is good to use when you were angry, but you’re past that stage because nothing either of you says or does will change what happened.
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35“You can’t make things right. I’ll never forgive you for this.”
This is good to use when the person has completely betrayed you and there’s no rectifying the issue.
5 examples of what to say when someone has disappointed you by not meeting your expectations
When someone does not meet your expectations, it can cause you to not only feel disappointed but also inconvenienced.
Here are some examples of what to say when someone disappoints you by not meeting your expectations:
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36“Next time try harder. This is nowhere near what we need.”
Use this when you don’t want to fire the person or remove them from the task, but you want to make it clear they are lagging.
37“I was rooting for you, but it seems you did not take this seriously.”
It is good to say this when you thought the person was able to do something, but they did not try hard enough or show real interest.
38“If I had known you were not equipped to handle this challenge, I would’ve picked someone else.”
Use this when someone misrepresented their abilities; for example, lied on their resume, or pretended to have knowledge on a subject. It means you are disappointed he/she lied.
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39“You’re the only person holding you back. Take this and learn from it.”
This is a way to give a pep talk even though you are disappointed in the person. It says you know he/she can do it, but he/she just needs to put in more effort.
40“I have high expectations, and not everyone can meet them. Perhaps we’re not a good fit after all.”
This is good to use when the person cannot meet your standards because they lack experience or work ethic. It shows that you no longer consider him/her capable.
Conclusion
Disappointments happen every day, and no one is immune to them. What matters is how we approach them, and more importantly, how well we convey these feelings of disappointment.
