At least once in your life, you’ll encounter a situation where someone says “You deserve better”. What they mean by that will determine how you respond when someone says, “You deserve better”.
How you feel about the person and your situation will also determine how you respond. It’s always better to respond to negativity with positivity, so try to avoid getting mad when someone says you deserve better and you don’t agree.
Sometimes, you will need to set the person straight, so they never say something like that again. Before we give you some examples of how to respond, here are the reasons why someone would say that to you in the first place:
5 reasons someone would say “You deserve better”
A good way to work out why someone is saying “You deserve better” is to think about the situation you’re in.
If it’s a friend, it’s usually from a good place, but it can also be them projecting their experiences onto you or even judging your relationship. A partner may say it as an excuse to break up, or a crush may say that to let you down easily.
Here are 5 reasons someone says “You deserve better”.
01As a compliment
Someone may say “You deserve better” if they believe you are out of their league, or out of the league of the person you’re with. It’s easy for a compliment such as this to be taken the wrong way.
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02Because of insecurity
A crush or partner may say this because they don’t feel good about themselves. They may think they’re not rich enough, not skinny enough, not handsome enough, or even too short.
03Out of concern
Perhaps the person sees you being mistreated and wants you to reevaluate your situation. They may have similar experiences and can see the red flags coming before you do.
04In a judgemental way
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean you should throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble. Some people will judge these rough patches and try to bring you down.
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05As an excuse
Someone may say this as a reason for not starting a relationship with you, or for ending a relationship with you. Sometimes, there’s a real reason and they’re just afraid to say it, or want to spare your feelings.
Other times, they just want out and have no real reason.
How to respond when someone says “You deserve better ”: 5 responses when someone judges your relationship or is concerned about you and thinks you deserve someone better than your current partner
People on the outside sometimes see things we don’t. Similarly, people on the outside don’t have all the information and make judgments based on little to nothing sometimes.
Do you think you deserve better than your current partner? This will tell you how to respond when someone says “You deserve better”:
01“I know”
If you genuinely think you deserve better than your current partner, then this is a good response. It takes some of us longer than others to walk away from a bad situation but admitting it is the first step.
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02“That’s none of your business.”
If this person is crossing the line, this is a good way to let them know. It says that the relationship has nothing to do with them and they should not be focusing on what you and your partner do.
03“I know you’re saying this because you care about me, but every relationship has its challenges.”
Use this when a friend is judging your relationship from a good place, but you don’t agree with their concerns. It says that you plan to stick with your partner during the tough times.
04“Thanks. I appreciate your honesty. “
This can be used either way. It can be used to shut the person up, or when you are thankful for the concern.
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05“I don’t talk about your relationship, so please don’t talk about mine.”
You can also use this when your friend is crossing a line. This says that it is not his/her place to question or have opinions on your relationship.
How to respond when someone says “You deserve better”: 5 responses when someone is projecting their insecurities onto you and don’t want you to have the same problems in your life
The experiences of others can teach us a lot, but that doesn’t mean the outcome will always be the same. Perhaps the person is just projecting their insecurities onto you and your relationship when everything is fine.
Perhaps they see you going down the same path and want to protect you from the heartache. Whatever the case is, here’s how to respond when someone says “You deserve better”:
06“I know you’ve had a couple of bad experiences, but not all guys/girls are the same.”
This response acknowledges the person’s concerns and experiences, but makes it clear that you don’t think things are the same for you, and you believe in what you and your partner have.
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07“He’s/She’s not like that so stop it.”
This is a good way to defend your partner if you know that he/she is good to you and not what the person thinks. It says that you don’t want to hear any of that negativity.
08“Thanks for the heads up but it’s all good over here.”
It is good to say this when you do not see the red flags the person sees, and you are happy with your relationship.
09“I always appreciate good advice.”
Use this when you appreciate the concern, but you’re not going to comment on the state of your relationship. In fact, you’d much prefer it if the conversation ended or changed to another topic.
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10“You should know huh?”
Say this when you know exactly what the person went through and you think you should listen.
How to respond when someone says “You deserve better”: 5 responses when your crush/partner is at a low and genuinely feels like they are not good enough for you
Sometimes, a partner or crush will say this because they are at a low point in their lives. Perhaps because they’ve put on some weight, or because they are not in the right place for a relationship mentally.
Other times, they may say it because they genuinely don’t think they are in your league or good enough for you. Here are 5 ideas of how to respond when someone says “You deserve better”:
11“I don’t care about any of that.”
This is good to say when your partner or crush lists the reasons you should not be together. Note that this is not meant to discredit his/her feelings, it just means that those are not enough to turn you away.
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12“You’re the most beautiful person I know.”
Use this when your partner or crush uses their appearance as a reason to say you deserve better. It lets him/her know you find him/her attractive.
13“I don’t know if you mean that or if it’s fear talking, but I think you should give this a chance.”
Use this to say that you believe differently, and that if you get a shot, you’ll prove him/her wrong.
14“If you knew just how much I loved you, you’d know that those are the things that make you special in my eyes.”
This is good to say when you don’t find anything wrong with him/her, and you love him/her despite flaws.
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15“How would you know if you never try?”
This means that the crush or partner can’t know that unless he/she gives the relationship a fair shot.
How to respond when someone says “You deserve better”: 5 responses when your crush does not want to be in a relationship with you
When your crush doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, he/she may say, “You deserve better” to let you down easily or make an excuse. This is how to respond in this situation.
16“Well, thanks for letting me down easy.”
This is good to use when you know your crush is lying to you, but your feelings aren’t too hurt.
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17“I get that. I hope everything works out for you. “
This is good to use when your crush says, “You deserve better”, and states a reason that you see as a dealbreaker. It says that you aren’t harboring any negative feelings and you hope things change.
18“I thought you were better, but I guess not.”
Say this when you were wrong about your crush, and now you see that you do, in fact, deserve better.
19“Maybe you’re right.”
Say this when you are offended your crush lied, and you’re glad this happened because you wouldn’t want to be with someone who lies like that anyway.
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20“Okay.”
If you can’t think of anything nice to say, or if your feelings are hurt, then this is the perfect response for you.
How to respond when someone says “You deserve better”: 5 responses when your partner wants to break up with you
Your partner will say, “You deserve better” if they did something wrong like cheat on you, or hurt you in another way. You might also hear this when your partner is looking for an out and isn’t mature enough to be honest.
Here are 5 examples of how to respond when someone says “You deserve better” when he/she wants to break up with you:
21“That’s rich. How long did it take you to come up with that one?”
This is what you can say when you’re not buying the excuse and you know he/she is lying. It shows that you’re disappointed or annoyed that this is the route he/she chose.
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22“You’re right. I am better off without you.”
Use this when you agree and you want to break up too. You can also use this when you want to throw it in his/her face and make it clear that you know your worth.
23“Yeah, and I’m the best you’ll ever have.”
This is good to use when your partner betrays your trust or hurts your feelings and wants to break up. It says that you know you deserve better, and he/she won’t find anyone that comes close to what you could have had.
24“Is there anything we can do to fix this?”
Say this when your partner wants to break up because of insecurity, or because of an incident that you think you can work through. It says you’re willing to give him/her another chance.
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25“If not you, then who?”
If you can’t see yourself with anyone else, this is something you can say. It says you don’t want to break up.
Conclusion
Now that you know how to respond when someone says “You deserve better”, it’s time to think about what you’ll do next. Are you going to stay with the person or leave?
It’s all up to you. Follow your head and not your heart because it can mislead you at times.
