It sucks to make plans with someone, look forward to it, then have the person bail on you. Alas, you must figure out what to say when someone flakes on you.
Figuring out what to say starts with the reason the person flaked on you. When someone flakes on you for no good reason, it’s a clear indication that he/she doesn’t value your time, so plan your response accordingly.
But when someone flakes on you for an emergency or something that came up at the last minute, it usually isn’t their fault, and playing the blame game does no one any good. So, try to make them feel better.
We’ve put together a great list of what to say when someone flakes on you, and the best ways to use them. Choose carefully:
Flaking for no good reason
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Whether it’s a last-minute cancellation for no good reason, or they simply don’t show up, it can put a bad taste in your mouth. It’s rude and annoying, but it’s something you’ll have to deal with at some point during your social life.
8 perfect things to say to someone who flakes on you at the very last minute
Last-minute cancellations are much the same as simply not showing up. This is where you have already done your part, for example, showed up at the restaurant, or paid for your tickets, and it is inconvenient to cancel.
Here’s what to say when someone flakes on you at the very last minute:
01“Wow, and I turned down other plans with my friends to be here? This is so disappointing.”
Use this when you had to cancel plans with other people to make yourself available. This lets the person feel bad for bailing on you.
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02“I understand you’re busy, but I am too. Don’t make plans with people if you aren’t certain you can make it.”
This is good to use when the plan was made far in advance and you both agreed to set aside time for it. A stern response lets the person know you are annoyed, but you are still respectful.
03“Whew, I certainly dodged a bullet.”
Use this when the person has always been flaky or has shown red flags. It lets the person know you’re not entirely bummed out by it, and this is saving you future pains.
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04“Thanks for letting me know. Have a great life.”
Use this when you are done with the person for good. Instead of saying “Have a great day”, you use “life” to show that you’ll no longer be a part of it.
05“I was really looking forward to seeing you today. “
This is good to use when you want to show how disappointed and let-down you feel by the last-minute cancellation. In some way, it will force the person to try to make it up to you, or at least cause guilt.
06“Oh, that’s a shame. I’ll just meet up with some friends instead.”
Use this when someone you like flakes on you. It makes you seem as though you have a lot going on and the cancellation doesn’t affect you much.
This is good to use when the person gives you a weak reason for canceling at the last minute. It shows that you are frustrated and that the person did you wrong.
08“Strike three, you’re out!”
If a person cancels on you a lot, and never has a good reason, it’s better to go your separate ways. Send this text to let the person know you’re done with them.
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6 perfect things to say to someone who simply doesn’t show up
Getting stood up is easily one of the worst feelings on the planet. It can make you feel unwanted and unimportant, or annoyed and angry.
Whatever your feelings are, it’s always a good idea to approach this as politely as possible. This does not mean you have to pretend everything is fine.
Here are some examples of what to say when someone flakes on you by not showing up:
09“There are better ways to say you didn’t want to go out with me.”
This is good to use when you get stood up on a date. It shows you are taking the flaking in a negative way and it might make the person feel bad.
10“My time is too important to waste on someone who doesn’t value it.”
Use this when you get no communication from the person you made plans with. This is good to use if you have a busy life, and you don’t have time for flaky people.
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11“I hope you’re okay. We had plans at 5 but after an hour of waiting, I left.”
Send this when you aren’t sure what’s wrong because the person hasn’t contacted you. It is a gentle approach that gives the person a chance to explain him/herself without the pressure of you seeming upset.
12“I waited for you for nearly 2 hours. It would have been courteous to send me a message.”
Use this when the person flakes on you without providing a reason. This message says that you feel slighted or disrespected.
13“I haven’t been stood up since high school! I thought we were all adults here!”
Use this when you get stood up and you are disappointed by the lack of communication.
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14“I wasted a perfectly good outfit for nothing. Thanks!”
This sarcastic response is good to use when you got all dressed up for a proper date and the person didn’t show. It says that you are upset, and rightfully so.
Flaking for an emergency/personal reasons
Life gets in the way sometimes and makes our plans and prior commitments impossible to uphold. We get that, and it doesn’t make sense to be mad when the person has no control over the situation.
What to say when someone flakes on you to make them feel better
A good way to approach flaking for an emergency/personal reasons is to show that you are understanding, and more importantly, not angry about the situation. The person already has a lot going on and it doesn’t make sense to add fuel to the fire.
This is what to say when someone flakes on you for an emergency/personal reasons:
15“No worries, I hope everything works out.”
This is a good response to use when a person is apologetic and gives you an explanation for what happened. It shows that you are not upset, and are sending well wishes.
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16“Oh no, take whatever time you need. I understand completely.”
This is also good to use when the person is apologetic about flaking. It lets the person know that you are understanding of the situation, and have no problem with canceling or rescheduling.
17“I wasn’t waiting too long. We can just reschedule when things improve.”
Use this when you already got there, but you got a message shortly after about the cancellation. This way, the person doesn’t feel like he/she left you hanging.
18“Thanks for letting me know. I’m praying for a speedy recovery. “
It is good to use this when the person you are meeting, or their relative/spouse has had an accident or has fallen sick. Naturally, your friend/date will prioritize caring for and attending to themself/that person.
Photo by Andrey_Popov on shutterstock
19“That’s alright, how does next Tuesday sound?.”
Use this when someone comes up at the last minute, and you have no problem with figuring out another day to make your plans work.
20“You caught me at the right time! I haven’t left home yet.”
This is good to use when the person already feels guilty about bailing. They’ll feel better to know that you weren’t out waiting for them.
Photo by simona pilolla 2 on shutterstock
21“Thanks for the heads up. Do what you have to do; I’m free next Friday if you want to reschedule it.”
Volunteering another date means that you aren’t carrying any bad feelings or ill will towards the person.
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22“I’m all booked up for next week but if you want, we can try again the following week. “
This is good to use when you both have busy schedules and wish to figure out an alternative day for your plans or date.
Conclusion
Once you work out what to say when someone flakes on you, your next move is entirely up to you. Do you reschedule with the person, let bygones be bygones, or completely write them off?
