After trying to do everything to make her happy and feel secure, it can really sting when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating. Before you get upset or hurl imaginary accusations, put a lot of thought into what to say in response.
This is already a tough spot, and the wrong move can spiral into more insecurity and arguments. Reassurance is the key here, but as you get into what to say, having a rational explanation for the behavior that causes her suspicions will go a long way.
Be patient and put yourself in her shoes. Once you can do that, you’re ready for our list of what to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating:
6 things to say when she might be feeling insecure due to her past relationship
Past relationship trauma affects our outlook on the relationships we have in the future. This trauma requires a lot of work to heal from, and unfortunately, many people enter into new relationships without sorting out their issues from the past, and expecting the new partner to fix them.
This can have a negative impact on new relationships and can often feel like emotional baggage for the other party. It will require a lot of patience and transparency for a new relationship to work.
Cheating is one major trauma that can cause insecurities, even if you have always been very honest and open with her about your whereabouts and activities. This is what to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating because she was cheated on in a past relationship:
01“You know where I am 24/7, and I always check in with you, even when you don’t ask me to. You have nothing to worry about babe.”
It is good to use this to remind her that you don’t hide where you are and that you have no problem with doing what’s necessary to make her feel more comfortable.
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02“I already know it will take time to heal from what that jerk of an ex did to you in the past, so I won’t take what you said personally. Trust in the man you’ve come to know and love, and not what you’ve experienced in the past. You know I’m nothing like him.”
This says even though she has thrown out some wild accusations, you know it’s coming from a place of hurt that she has not yet overcome. It says she should focus on what she has now in front of her because that’s what’s important, and that you’ll treat her well.
03“Knowing what I know about your past, I’d never put you through that again. I love you too much to watch your heart break again.”
It is good to use this to reassure her that you have her best interests at heart and that you’ll protect her.
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04“For as long as I’m your partner, cheating will be the last thing you’ll have to worry about. I know how lucky I am to have you, and I’d never do anything to jeopardize this.”
This says you’re not her ex, and cheating is not something you’re interested in. It also says she’s the one for you.
05“There’s only one you, so no one else in the world could catch my eye. You’re the only one I want and need. Stop doubting what we have here. Everything’s alright.”
Use this to remind her of how much you adore her. It says you won’t cheat because she’s everything you need.
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06“I think you should seriously consider therapy to help you overcome the trauma of what your ex did to you. At this point in our relationship, I’ve done everything to help ease your mind and quell your fears, but there’s always an issue. I’ll be with you every step of the way, and I’ll do what I can to show you that I’m different so you can heal.”
Say this when you want to level with her about her insecurities and you want her to find a way to move past this. This is a practical approach to what to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating.
What to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating: 6 things to say if you might have been neglecting her
As a relationship grows and time passes, one or both partners may not put as much effort into it as they did in the beginning. This doesn’t mean love is lost.
Usually, these partners become comfortable with what they have, and stop doing romantic things like going on dates, or surprising each other with gifts. This can make the other partner feel neglected, especially when they see you doing things with other people, like spending hours with friends.
This is what to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating because you’ve been neglecting her:
07“In my head, I was thinking I always see you at home, so it’s fine. I’ve heard your concerns and I understand your needs more. Let’s figure out how we can spend more time together.”
This lets her know that you had no intention of making her feel insecure. This expresses your frame of mind, and how you wish to move forward.
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08“After losing my [insert relation], I’ve been in my head a lot. In reality, I should appreciate what I still have, and not focus on what I’ve lost.”
It’s natural to neglect the things you love during grief to process all those emotions. This lets her know that she’s done nothing wrong, and you just need some time to get your mind right.
09“You’re right. I have no excuse for it either. I shouldn’t take a woman like you for granted.”
It is good to use this to acknowledge your wrongs. It says you will do better.
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10“Honestly, I thought you needed space. This is something I should have communicated with you about instead of just backing off.”
Use this when the problem was caused by poor communication and assumptions. It says you were doing what you thought she needed, but you were wrong.
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11“You’re the most important person in my life, and nothing else matters if you’re not happy. I’m so sorry my foolish actions made you doubt how important you are to me.”
This is a good apology to use when you mess up by neglecting your girlfriend and her needs. It doesn’t make poor excuses for making your girl feel unwanted. It says you messed up, and you’re sorry for your actions without trying to blame it on something or someone else.
12“I had no idea you were feeling this way. Thank you for trusting me with your feelings. I’ll work on making you feel as amazing as you deserve to feel.”
It says you hadn’t realized anything was wrong, but you’re glad she spoke up. It also says you’ll do better, and ensure she never feels that way again.
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6 things to say if you might have been spending more time away from her than usual
Spending time with each other is important for building a solid relationship. In the beginning, it’s normal to want to spend as much time as possible together.
But, life is not a fairytale, and it may cause you to have to spend more time away from her than usual, whether it’s to focus on work or help out a relative/friend. Here’s what to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating because you have been spending more time away from her than usual:
13“When would I seriously find time to do that with all the extra work I’ve picked up? Please think this through the next time you want to make accusations.”
Use this when she makes a lot of accusations based on nothing. It says she should think about what’s going on before throwing out crazy accusations.
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14“I admit I haven’t been doing a great job at balancing my home life with work. I’ll work on getting a few days off and we can go somewhere to reconnect.”
Use this when you’re in the zone at work, which isn’t always healthy and can be seen in the negative effect on your relationship. It says you’ll slow down for the sake of the relationship.
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15“Things have been rough lately between school and work. I really need to hunker down and focus right now. Ride this through with me, and I promise you won’t regret it. I need your support.”
Say this when you’re in a tough spot and you need to put more of your energy elsewhere to accomplish a goal. It says a sacrifice has to be made in the relationship for future rewards.
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16“This is the most important time in my career and I have to bring my A-game if I want to get this promotion. Please stand by me and help me through this.”
This is good to use when you’re working on making a better, more comfortable life for the both of you. It says she will have to be a cheerleader right now for both of your sakes.
17“You mean so much to me. If I’m not with you, I’m working on something to secure our future.”
This lets her know that there’s nothing else in the way but work. It says you’re grinding as hard as possible for the future.
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18“I know you came into this with expectations; I did too. I expect you to be patient with me, and trust that we’re solid.”
This says you know things are not the same as they were in the beginning, but the love is still there. It says you need her to support you through this phase.
What to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating: 6 things to say if she saw you talking to other girls
Jealousy is a part of human nature. Anyone who says they haven’t felt jealous before, especially in a relationship, is a liar.
You’re expected to behave like you’re in a relationship whether your girlfriend is around or not. You should have a good idea of acceptable behavior, but sometimes, things can happen innocently without aforethought of how it may make your girlfriend feel.
We don’t mean things like “accidentally cheating” because we both know that’s rubbish. Instead, we are talking about being overly invested in social media and liking inappropriate photos, going to strip clubs, spending money on drinks for girls at bars, and so on.
These are some examples of what to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating because you’re friendly with other women:
19“In healthy relationships, both partners are allowed to have friends.”
It is good to use this when she is making a big deal out of friendships with the opposite sex, especially when she has male friends. It sets the record straight and forces her to face reality.
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20“I see how it may look crazy from your perspective, but that’s my cousin and we joke around a lot. Don’t worry, I’ll tone it down.”
Use this when you’re highly interactive with a female relative or friend. It says out of respect, you’ll behave more appropriately.
21“Even though I don’t understand it, I’ll take you at your word. If you don’t like when I leave comments or like her pictures on Instagram, I’ll stop because your happiness matters more to me.”
Women can be tricky, and even if you don’t get it, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt or bother her. This says you’ll do what you need to do to make her happy.
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22“This means nothing to me. I could delete the app today and it would make no difference in what really matters to me. Just let me know what to do to make you feel better.”
Use this when she feels insecure about your interactions on social media. It says you value the relationship more than doing the things that make her feel insecure.
23“She’s just an old friend who was excited to see me after all these years, plus she’s married. You have nothing to worry about there!”
It is good to use this when she feels awkward about how another woman approaches you in public. It assures her there’s nothing going on.
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24“I’m a people person, but that doesn’t make me a flirt. I’ll watch how I approach these situations from now on, but you need to have faith in me. I’d never cross those boundaries.”
This is a good example of what to say when the way you interact with other women can be seen as flirtatious, even when that wasn’t your intention. It says she should trust you, and you’ll make the effort to make her feel more comfortable.
At the end of the day, jealousy comes with the territory of being in a relationship. As long as it’s not crazy and obsessive jealousy, you can find a way to work it out with her.
Use these examples of what to say when your girlfriend accuses you of cheating to ease her mind and remind her of your loyalty.