Life can be complicated, difficult, and hard. That’s why laughter is such a key component to staying sane and happy.
If you can see the humor in your misery, you will be able to move on to a happier place. Feel a little joy by reading some of these funny quotes about life that are bound to have you rolling on the floor in laughter.
1“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”
– Al Pacino
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2“If only common sense were more common, then the world would be filled with more genius.”
3“You have to be odd to be number one.”
– Dr. Suess
4“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
– Albert Einstein
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5“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.”
– Albert Einstein
46“Why learn a new language. My mom told me never to talk to strangers.”
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47“When something goes wrong in your life, just yell into a huge crowd, and pretend that everyone else has the problem.”
48“Yes, of course I am an athlete. I surf the television channels every day.”
49“Dear Life, I know you’re not fair. So, you can stop teaching me that lesson now.”
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50“I hate when people say ‘Nice to meet you’ before I’ve said anything. How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m an asshole!”
– Jack Nickelson
51“If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get slapped in the face a lot.”
52“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
– Lily Tomlin
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53“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.”
– Melanie White
54“Yesterday I did nothing. And today I’m finishing up what I started yesterday.”
55“Well-behaved women rarely make history.”
– Marilyn Monroe
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56“When I was small I thought all the money and fame in the world would bring me happiness. Now that I’ve grown up, I know that I was right.”
57“If life gives me lemons, I’m going to thank the sky for giving me free fruit.”
58“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
– Miles Kinfton
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59“Why do people say ‘grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!”
– Betty White
60“If you think about your past, someone’s therapist is diagnosing you right now.”
61“I’m sorry I act like a monster, but you’re blocking my morning coffee.”
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62“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
– Elayne Boosler
63“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
– Johnny Carson
64“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story”
– Niel Patrick Harris
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65“I’m old enough to know this won’t turn out well, but young enough to do it anyways.”
66“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s, she changes it more often.”
– Oliver Herford
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67“To thrive in life you need three bones: a wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.”
– Reba McEntire
68“I enjoy long romantic evenings with my television.”
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69“I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less.”
– Tina Fey
