Having a baby is a big deal, and your parents know that through experience. For this reason, they would encourage you to wait until you’re old enough and well-prepared before getting pregnant.
If you have strict parents, being pregnant can be the worst thing in the world for them, and it will be hard to tell your parents the truth. You might be able to keep it a secret for some time but, eventually, you will have to tell your parents.
This article will help you with that. Here we’ll discuss how to tell your parents you’re pregnant and give you real-life examples that are most likely to work!
How to Tell Your Parents You’re Pregnant: When You’re a Teenager or Unmarried
The first part of knowing how to tell your parents you’re pregnant is to read these bits of advice carefully if you want to get a positive reaction.
01Stop putting it off
Remember that your anxiety about telling your parents doesn’t mean that the pregnancy will pause until you are ready to tell them.
The clock is ticking, and sooner or later, you will start to ‘show’. It is always a better idea to tell them yourself than to have them find out on their own.
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02Talk to a trusted friend/family member first
If you don’t have the best relationship with your mother or father, it is always a good idea to talk to someone you trust first.
This way you can practice telling someone, and they can help you go to your parents.
03Get your partner involved
If you have this option, it is best if you both go to your parents and tell them together.
This way, they can feel better about it by seeing the two of you unified. Having someone with you can also help you to feel less nervous or anxious.
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04Don’t beat around the bush
We can’t lie and say that it won’t be one of the most difficult things you’ve ever told them, but beating around the bush can make it even worse.
Having to wait and wait for you to come out and say it can even annoy your parents and make you seem immature in their eyes.
05Expect disappointment
No parent on this planet wants to hear that their child is pregnant at a young age without the means to take care of a baby financially, physically, and emotionally.
Disappointment is a natural response, so don’t get angry or sad because of it. Your parents will learn to get over it but, in the moment, allow them to express how they feel.
Having a plan of action can help a lot when telling your parents that you’re pregnant. You have three options: accept, adopt, or abort.
Accept means that you are going to accept your responsibility and take care of the child, adopt means that you are going to put the baby up for adoption, and abort means you are going to terminate the pregnancy.
Laying out a plan of action will make you seem responsible.
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07Pick the right time
While there is no concrete definition of the ‘right time’ to tell your parents you’re pregnant, there is definitely a wrong time.
Avoid telling parents you’re pregnant when they’re already in a bad mood because you are guaranteed to get a negative response.
Don’t spring this on them when they are in a rush, such as before work or when they’re headed to an appointment or the airport.
Choose a time when they have ample time to react and talk about it.
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When you have absorbed these key points on how to tell your parents you’re pregnant, it is time to move on to the strategies you can use to announce your pregnancy.
“If You Are Between Age 16 and 19
At the ages of 16-19, your parents might suspect that you have started having sex, but they are hoping that you go about it safely. But hey, accidents happen, and we’re here now.
Here are 5 ideas for how to tell your parents you’re pregnant when you are 19 or younger.
01Dinner
It is a good idea to tell your parents that you’re pregnant when they’re in a good mood, like after dinner when they have just eaten, had a glass of wine or two, and are likely to be talking and laughing with the family.
This strategy can work at home during dinner or when you go out. Doing it at home is good when all your family is there, and you can tell them all at once.
If you want privacy, you can go out to dinner with your parents at a nice restaurant. They are less likely to get upset and create a scene in public.
On the drive home, they’ll have enough time to express their emotions or give you the silent treatment while they gather their thoughts.
Here are some phrases you can use to tell your parents you’re pregnant at dinner.
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“You might be wondering why I offered to make dinner. Let’s just say I need practice for when my baby comes.”
“I was going to wait till dessert, but the suspense is killing me. Mom, I’m going to be a mommy, too.”
“I know you guys are pretty mad at me, but can we talk about this eventually? It’s not going to just go away because you’re mad.”
“I have a confession to make. I’m pregnant.”
“I know you guys weren’t planning on becoming grandparents so soon, and I’m definitely not ready to be a parent, but maybe someone else is. That’s why I’m putting this baby up for adoption.”
“I never thought I’d get pregnant so early, but maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I want to use this baby to make another family happy.”
“Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant. Before you get upset, know that it won’t be for long. I’ve already discussed abortion with a doctor.”
02Write a letter
If you don’t have the kind of close relationship with your parents where you can openly talk to them, or if they are prone to fits of anger, using a letter to tell them that you’re pregnant is your best bet.
This letter should be handwritten and should include the fact that you are pregnant and what your plans are.
It will give your parents time to calm down without you being there to witness the possible anger and frustration.
Here is a sample letter that you can give them:
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Dear Mom and Dad,
You might have noticed that I’ve been quiet and kept to myself for the past few days. The truth is I’ve been keeping a very big secret from you guys. I’m pregnant.
I know this is not what you wanted for me at 17, and honestly, this is not what I want for myself. I’ve decided to have an abortion, so I can work toward my future. Since I’m a minor, I will need your support and permission.
I hope we can sit as a family and talk about this soon. I can’t do this on my own.
If you are old enough to go to the doctor and get a pregnancy test, ask for a print out of the results to show that you are indeed pregnant.
Then, hand the test results to your parents or send them a picture of it. This approach shows that you are responsible enough to go to a doctor to get a test done, which means that you have committed to this responsibility—if you are planning to go through with the pregnancy.
Sending them the results beforehand also gives them time to cool off before you have a sit-down conversation with them.
Here are two texts/notes you can use when you send/hand your parents the results.
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“I wasn’t feeling well, so I went to the doctor, and he confirmed my suspicions [insert image].”
“I went to the doctor to do a pregnancy test, and it turns out I am pregnant. Can we talk about it later?”
04Have someone else tell them
An older sibling or cousin is more likely to be understanding than your parents and will want to help you to break the news to them in the best way possible.
You can speak to that person and permit them to inform your parents. You’ll, of course, have to speak with your parents eventually, but this can make things easier on you for the moment.
Here are some phrases you can use to convince this person to tell your parents
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“You know how Mom and Dad are! They’ll listen to you.”
“I can’t face them right now, but I think you can talk them out of being mad at me.”
05Hand them pamphlets about women’s centers and clinics
If you plan to abort your baby, then you will need to have a plan.
Handing them pamphlets about woman’s centers and clinics who offer abortion services is a good start.
This choice automatically lets them know that you aren’t planning on going through with the pregnancy and that you are taking the necessary steps to correct your mistake.
Here are two things you can say as you hand it to them:
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“Sorry, Mom, Dad. Nobody’s perfect, and I learned my lesson the hard way. Please help me decide on how to fix this.”
“I’m too young to have a baby, and I know that. I’m so sorry that this happened.”
If You’re Unmarried and Will Be a Single Mom
If you are unmarried and will be a single mom, your parents are going to be very worried about how you are going to manage a pregnancy.
When you tell them you are pregnant, you will want to ease their worries. Here are 3 ideas for how to tell your parents you’re pregnant:
06With a poster/banner
If you live alone, this is a perfect approach. You will have to make the banner and hang it up without your parents noticing.
The banner can say ‘I’m pregnant’ or anything related to that. Place it somewhere that it is easily visible and invite them over for dinner or to have a chat.
When they see it, they will be surprised at first but are likely to be supportive because of how you went about it.
Creating an entire banner/poster means that you were excited about the news, and they are likely to be happy that you are happy and will feel less worried.
Here are some phrases you can use:
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“I already have two supportive parents and amazing friends, so I’ll be fine without a man.”
“I admit it’ll be rough, but I have all I need right here. I decided to keep the baby.”
Sending a card to your parents to announce that you’re pregnant is a good idea if you don’t live with them.
It’s better than a phone call in a sense because you won’t have to deal with the backlash at the moment when they find out, and they’ll have time to think about what they want to say to you beforehand.
There are many cards in-store and online to choose from, but getting one about being a single mom will save you time explaining your baby daddy drama.
Here are two messages you can add to the card to personalize it.
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“Congratulations on becoming new grandparents. I can’t wait for my baby to meet the most wonderful people in my life!”
“I’m never alone when I know two of the strongest people have my back!”
08Call them over for a talk
Becoming a parent is a huge responsibility and is not something that should be taken lightly. Since you are on your own, you will need to meet with your parents to discuss your best course of action.
Going to them for help when you just moved out on your own can be discouraging, but it is the best move for you.
With this approach, you can first let them know you are pregnant and explain the circumstances around your pregnancy.
Let them know what you want to do, whether it is accept, abort, or adopt, then listen to their advice. This way, everyone will be on the same page.
Here are two ways you can start the conversation.
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“I will be a single mom, and I’m going to need your help. Here’s how I plan to do this…”
“I recently found out that I am pregnant, but I’ve decided to carry the baby to term and then give it up for adoption. I am not ready for a baby now, but I promise to make you grandparents in the future.”
Ideas for How to Tell Your Parents You’re Pregnant When Your Teenage Girlfriend Got Pregnant
If you are a guy who got your teenage girlfriend pregnant, you have to step up to the plate and tell your parents.
Here are 2 ways to tell parents you got your girlfriend pregnant.
09Get the family together
If you got your girlfriend pregnant, it could be much easier for both of you to tell your families together.
The place you choose to tell them should be somewhere comfortable and where you can have some privacy—like the family home.
Gather them in the living room or dining room and tell them together as a team. This shows that you have both committed to each other and this responsibility.
Telling them together also helps to take off the pressure . You won’t be facing the backlash on your own. They may also find comfort in knowing that their child is not alone in this big undertaking.
Here’s how you can do it.
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“I guess you are all wondering by now why we gathered you here, and there’s no point in keeping you in suspense any longer. Moms, Dads, Jeannie is pregnant. Although we are young, we plan to keep our baby, and all we are asking for is your love and support.”
“Mariah and I have something to tell you, and before you get upset, I just want you guys to know that we love each other and plan to be together for a very long time. We’re having a baby!”
Create a PowerPoint/video of yourself and your girlfriend. Cute, cuddly pictures will do the trick to show that you are in love and united.
Next, add suggestive pictures such as baby clothes and toys or even a picture of the pregnancy test or sonogram.
Afterward, include a plan on how you will take care of the baby. Things like finding a job, planning out expenditures, and creating a baby schedule/calendar will help to show that you are serious about becoming parents.
The PowerPoint/video will say everything you need to say to them quickly and easily. Here are two phrases you can use after showing them the clip.
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“We plan to have a healthy, happy family, and we would appreciate it if you would give us your blessing.”
“We can’t do any of this without you guys. Whaddya say, moms and dads?”
Lastly
It isn’t going to be easy, and you have to be prepared to deal with whatever comes your way. Now that you know how to tell your parents you’re pregnant, it should be less difficult. All the best!
