Ideas for How to Tell Your Parents Your’re Gay: For Guys
As a guy, your parents probably expect you to marry a girl and give them grandbabies to carry on the family name.
Telling them that you’re gay can come as a bit of a shock, but when done the right way, they will learn to accept it.
Here are 5 ideas for how to tell your parents you’re gay.
A letter is a great way to come out to your parents. This letter can include what you hope to accomplish by coming out to your parents and other details, such as when you found out you were gay and if you have a boyfriend.
A letter works best for parents who aren’t always the easiest to talk to, and it gives you time to choose your words carefully.
Your letter does not have to be long, as long as it gets the “I’m gay” point across. Here’s an example.
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Dear Mom and Dad,
I’ve been holding on to a big secret, and I can’t go one more day living a double life.
I’m gay. I have known I was gay since the 6th grade.
I would’ve told you guys sooner, but I wasn’t ready. I was scared you guys wouldn’t look at me the same.
Please accept me for me and help me to come out to the rest of the world.
To do this, you will need to get a T-shirt that says, “I’m gay”. It doesn’t have to be in those exact words, and it can include the LGBTQ flag.
When your parents ask why you chose to wear that shirt, tell them that you are a part of the LGBTQ community.
This shows that you are not afraid to be gay and that you want the world to know.
Your parents will see that you are very serious about your identity, and will have to accept it eventually.
Here are two phrases you can use when wearing this shirt.
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I am proud to be a part of the LGBTQ community.
Do you like my shirt? Every member of the LGBTQ community has one.
03Leaving clues around the house
Leaving clues around the house is a way to warm your parents up to the idea.
You can start by putting up posters of hot guys in your room, leaving a tab open on your laptop for a gay chatroom, start wearing more Pride swag, and watch shows/movies with LGBTQ characters.
At first, they may not notice, but after a while, they might begin to suspect it and ask.
During the period of suspicion, they will be able to go through all their initial reactions of disappointment or anger and will likely ask you about it in a calm manner.
When they ask about it, you can respond by saying:
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I love the representation of gay men in this series. It inspires me to love myself.
Zayn Malik is the hottest guy from One Direction. I have the biggest crush on him.
04During sex talk
Your parents are likely to have the birds and the bees talk with you at some point if only to make sure you understand the changes that are taking place in your body.
Since you’re a guy, they’ll probably warn you about getting a girl pregnant. Use this opportunity to correct your parents and let them know that you aren’t interested in girls.
This is a good idea since your parents were already in the frame of mind to give you a tough talk. They were already mentally prepared for uncomfortable questions, so use this to your advantage.
Here are two phrases you can use to tell your parents that you are gay.
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But what if I want to have sex with a guy?
Don’t be silly, Dad, boys can’t get pregnant.
05Ask someone to help you
Having someone there when you tell your parents that you’re gay can be a huge help, especially if it is another adult that your parents respect, such as a family friend or aunt/uncle.
This person can help talk your parents out of their anger and reassure them that everything will be okay.
They can help mediate the discussion to ensure that both you and your parents can communicate with each other properly.
It probably isn’t a good idea to involve your boyfriend in this conversation since it could make things awkward and uncomfortable for many people who might not be ready to accept your truth.
If it is someone that they already know and trust, for example, your best friend who they’ve known all his life, then, in that case, bringing your boyfriend into the discussion could work.
Here are two examples of how to tell them.
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Josh and I have something to tell you. We’re in love. Mom, Dad, I’m gay.
I asked Aunt Wendy to help me to talk to you guys, but it has to come out of my mouth. Mom, I’m gay.
Ideas for How to Tell Your Parents You’re Gay: For Girls
Coming out to your parents as a lesbian can be hard, especially if you are an only child.
Here are 5 ideas for how to tell your parents you’re gay as a girl.
You can announce to your parents that you are a lesbian by baking them an LGBTQ cake or Pride-themed cookies.
Decorate your pastry in the colors of the LGBTQ flag and even put “I’m gay” on it to really drive the message home.
This is a creative way to come out to your parents, and they can enjoy the cake after being surprised.
Here are some things you can say when you give your cake or cookies to your family.
photo by Sharon McCutcheon under pexels license
Even though this is a lesbian cake, it is still the same chocolate that you know and love.
No matter what others might start to think or say about me, I’m still your sweet baby girl.
Writing a poem to your parents is a good idea since you can express yourself through carefully selected words that sound good together.
You can send it to them on their phone or read it to them aloud, whichever you are most comfortable with. Here’s an example of a poem that you can use as-is.
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I am a girl who likes a girl,
I’m hoping she’d give the idea of us a whirl,
I doubt that she even knows my name,
But I’m hoping that she feels the same.
You might be thinking that I’m insane,
But living a lie has caused me pain.
I hope you can give me your support and love,
And won’t make me fly away like a dove.
A pop-up card is like a regular card, except when you open it, there is a pop-up message or image. You can make one yourself or buy one, whichever would be easiest for you.
Using a pop-up card that says “I’m gay” in whatever format that may take is a favorite technique since you won’t actually have to be there for their reaction.
Here are some messages you can add to the card yourself.
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Surprise! I’m ready to talk about it when you are.
This might not have been what you were expecting, but it’s time you knew. I’m gay, and I’m proud.
There are many famous songs about being gay from ‘I’m coming out’ by Diana Ross to ‘She keeps me warm’ by Mary Lambert.
You can send these to your parents or play them before you tell them that you are gay. You can gauge their reaction to the song to find out if they would be receptive to the idea of a lesbian daughter or not.
After sending/playing the song, you can say something like:
Photo by Brian Kyed on unsplash
If you haven’t figured it out by now, guys, I’m a lesbian.
This is my most favorite lesbo song ever.
10Sit down talk
If you are looking to have a more serious conversation with your parents about your sexuality, a sit-down talk at the dining table is your best choice.
There you have the opportunity to confront the situation head-on and express any fears and concerns.
To initiate the conversation, you can use this phrase:
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Mom, Dad, I think you might have noticed already. I’m a lesbian. I don’t like boys; I like girls. I wanted you to be the first to know.
We’ve given you all the tips you’ll need and a few of the best examples of how to tell your parents you’re gay, so the rest is up to you.
You will have to figure out which of these ideas for how to tell parents, “I’m gay” is right for you, but once you do, the rest will be a piece of cake!