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10 diplomatic ways to tell partner they are fat

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10 diplomatic ways to tell partner they are fat

We all want to look and feel the best that we possibly can. However, our ideas of ‘the best’ often differ. So what happens if your partner has a body type that is either unflattering or unhealthy? How to tell partner they are fat diplomatically?

01Be honest

With your partner and with yourself. If it’s for selfish reasons admit it. Using personal and collective pronouns can help ease your partner into not feeling attacked or shamed.

I feel like we’ve slowed down or we’re eating a lot of junk lately aren’t we?

02Be understanding

Body image, dieting, mental health can all influence how someone perceives and treats themselves. These are complicated and intersecting issues that manifest differently.

Are you feeling pressured or stressed lately?

03Know it’s not just their issue

If it’s important enough to bring up, it’s important enough for you to support. This doesn’t mean absorbing their problems as your own, though.

This is for you, me, the kids, us, a better future

04Ask questions

Your feelings are valid, but so are your partner’s. Ask what they want and how they feel about themselves, their body, lifestyle, diet, amount or lack of exercise, if they’re content.

Do you think our portions and amount of exercise is where we should be?

05What your partner needs, not what you want

If it takes more than just eating healthier and exercising more, be ready. Also, there’s a fine line between friendly reminders and nagging. Nagging would be as bad as you harshly tell partner they are fat.

Should we make an accountability checklist?

06Make it inevitable

Don’t make it a matter of if, make it a matter of when. Reference the future as if the weight will have already been lost.

Swimming on spontaneous beach days is going to be fun! Everyone’s going to ask you to train them after your new body.

07Be specific

Especially if there are health concerns, being implicit won’t do, as it leaves room for miscommunication, and miscommunication leads to dissatisfaction. Instead of a vague “they go for walks; why don’t we” just say

Let’s build up our cardio for better sex and to keep up with the kids.

08Stay practical

Even if reasons are more selfish than selfless, putting your wants in terms of practical relationship needs can help convince your partner it’s in their best interest to lose weight.

Remember how fun college was, running around the tennis court without wheezing?

09Be helpful, stay positive

If your partner is struggling, don’t be accusative. That’s just as ineffective as you tactlessly tell partner they are fat.

Hey, I know it’s tough, but you’ve already added 5 minutes to your cardio time. You’ve come so far. I’m so proud of you.

10Make a joint effort

If they’re rethinking their lifestyle, you can improve too. Be open about things you need to work on. This kind of trade-off can feel less isolating.

So are you going to be my trainer now too?

 

Featured image: photo under standard license from Shutterstock

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