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15 Best Ways to Ask for Sex from Your Partner

15 Best Ways to Ask for Sex from Your Partner

When you’re in a serious committed relationship, chances are you’ll have sex at some point. Whether it is the first time, tenth time, or hundredth time, knowing how to ask for sex properly is an important thing.

Asking for sex when you are both in the mood is usually a no-brainer, but do you know how to ask for sex when your partner is mad at you? How about when you have never had sex before?

In this post, we’ll take a look at some of the best ways to ask for sex from your partner that will help you score every time. Read carefully!


4 ways to ask for sex when your partner is mad

When your partner is mad at you, chances are, he/she will avoid you. When you get in the mood and really want to be with him/her, it may feel like a risky move to ask for sex.
But who knows, if you never initiate it, how will you know if your partner is in the mood for some makeup sex?

01Candlelight dinner with wine
What says romance more than a dimly lit room, some wine, some nice soothing music, and some delicious food? It’s also a great way to say “I’m sorry” to a partner who is mad at you.
This shows that you regret what you did and that you want to get back on his/her good side. After a few glasses of wine, sex is already on the table.


white canopy tent with candles around it near coastline coconut trees
Photo by suzukii xingfu under Pexels License


02Ask to cuddle
This is one of the oldest tricks in the book when it comes to asking for sex. Under those warm blankets, anything can happen!
When your partner is mad, but not necessarily at you, he/she will want comfort. Asking him/her to cuddle can ease his/her mind and lead to relaxation.
At that moment, when your partner begins to feel better, you can start to get frisky underneath the sheets.


Sometimes, all it takes to stop a minor disagreement from spiralling into full-blown malice is an apology. Whatever you did wrong, apologize for it. Makeup sex is, after all, the best type of sex, or at least that’s what they say.
When your partner has a chance to calm down, he/she will feel loving towards you again and will be more inclined to get intimate with you.


touching his head looking sorry

Photo by SHTTEFAN on Unsplash


04Listen, and do what he/she asks
When your partner is mad at something, it is normal for some of that to creep over into the relationship and potentially cause a rift. We would hate for that to happen, so try to stay on his/her good side.
That means if she asks you to take out the trash, take it out right then and there. If he asks for something to eat, make him his favorite meal.
This is a good way to ask for sex strategically. By being in his/her good books, you are more likely to get a positive response to your request.


5 ways to ask for sex when it is your first time being intimate together

If you are in a new relationship and you have never been intimate together, the first time can be a bit weird. You may not even know how to approach your partner about the subject and how to ask for sex.
We can help with that. Here are 5 ways to ask for sex when it is your first time being intimate with your partner:

05Get dressed in sexy clothes
If you’re a woman, this one is especially for you. Men simply can’t resist us in our lingerie and other sexy clothing!
So, go to the store and pick up something you think he’ll love, or get all dressed up for a date- a head turner! Once he notices you, he’ll be all over you.


wearing in sexy black dress

Image from Pexels – under CC0 license


06Offer a massage
A good way to initiate intimacy or sex is with your hands. A nice massage will relax your partner and can even turn him/her on.
During the massage, you should have soothing music playing in the background, nice smelling candles, and oil to rub all over him/her.
At this time, if given consent, you can start to massage private areas, and the rest is in your hands!


female massage stone spa

Photo by acworks author on photo-ac


07Compliment him/her
Who doesn’t love to be complimented and feel appreciated? This is a great way to get started when you are thinking about how to ask for sex for the very first time.
A shower of compliments will boost his/her confidence and will make him/her feel very sexy and wanted.
This is the best time to ask for sex for the first time as some of his/her inhibitions will be put to the side and he/she can be truly vulnerable.



08Give passionate/erotic kisses
Believe it or not, the way you kiss someone means something. Passionate/erotic kisses let your partner know that you are in the mood for something more.
If he/she kisses you back in the same way, then chances are, he/she wants to be intimate as well. If your partner asks you to stop, then do so.


man kissing woman room sunlight
Photo by Charry Jin under pexels license


09Use his/her love language
Everyone has a different love language, whether it is through giving/receiving gifts, spending quality time together, simply hearing words of affirmation, acts of service (doing things for each other), or physical touch. What makes your partner feel loved? What is his/her love language?
This knowledge is the best way to ask for sex, especially if your partner is a virgin.
This will show that you care and this is more than “just sex” for you. In your eyes, it has meaning and this will make him/her feel more comfortable giving his/her virginity up.


6 ways to ask for sex when you don’t know if he/she is in the mood

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if your partner is in the mood for sex, so you may need to drop subtle hints or initiate it yourself if you ever want to get some!
Here are 6 ways to ask for sex when you don’t know if your partner is in the mood for sex:

10Send naughty messages
A good way to ask your partner for sex when you don’t know if he/she is in the mood is by sending naughty messages. In other words, initiate sexting.
If you don’t know what sexting is, this is the act of sending erotic messages to a partner in order to get them in the mood for sex.
There isn’t a singular way to sext- it all depends on what your partner prefers.
For example, if your partner has certain kinks, such as getting choked or tied up, you can send a message which reads:
“If I was beside you right now, I’d tie your hands behind your back and….”
This is a good thing to say because you will know if he/she is in the mood based on his/her response. And, even if he/she was not in the mood before, a text like this could really get him/her going.


selective focus photography of sitting and smiling woman using smartphone wearing red beanie

Photo by Eric Antunes under pexels license


11Get touchy-feely
Getting touchy-feely with a partner is a great way to initiate or ask for sex. You can do this by grabbing his/her breasts, hugging him/her tightly, caressing him/her, or simply walking very close to him/her a couple of times.
This will make your partner wonder what’s up, but it won’t take long to click in his/her mind that you’re in the mood for some sex.


12Be straight up
If you’re in a serious long-term relationship, why beat around the bush? It’s not like you’ve never had sex before, especially with your partner, so ask straight up.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should be weird or aggressive. You can choose to ask casually, for example asking if he/she wants to have a quickie, or use erotic language like “do you wanna be piped down?”



13Send nudes/sexy photos
A good way to show that you’re interested in sex is by sending nudes or sexy photos. A suggestive photograph can even make your partner rush home just to be with you.
When you send this kind of photograph, it is clear what is on your mind, and your partner’s response will let you know if he/she is interested.


woman wearing black underwear
Photo by Huha Inc. on unsplash


14Turn on an erotic film
It is normal for adults to sit and watch erotic films, whether hardcore pornography or a sexy movie with a few erotic scenes.
This is a good way to ask for sex if you aren’t sure if your partner is in the mood and do not wish to be direct. Your partner’s reaction to the film will say it all.
If he/she is in the mood, he/she might even ask before you. If your partner isn’t in the mood, then he/she may just ask you to turn it off or switch to something else. No harm done.


15Get in the shower with him/her
A whole lot can go down when partners are all wet and in an enclosed space, so this might be the best way to ask without even really asking.
It is common for couples to take a shower together, and if they do, it is normal for one to offer to wash the other’s back, hair, etc.
If you are in the mood, you can make it evident however you choose to, but if your partner is not, then he/she might not have a reaction or may ask you to stop.


multiracial naked couple having shower together smiling

Photo by Tim Samuel under pexels license



By the end of this, how to ask for sex should be the least of your issues. Right now, you had better walk the walk if you are ready to talk the talk! Good luck!