You can have a wedding without groomsmen, but it wouldn’t feel complete. That’s why you need to ask groomsmen to be at your wedding.
Knowing how to ask for groomsmen to be at your wedding is not a simple task. It’s not something one can practice, and most people have only one wedding.
If you need to learn how to ask for groomsmen for your upcoming wedding, we have a few solutions below.
Some ideas on how to ask for groomsmen
Groomsmen can be any of your family, friends or acquaintances as long you trust them enough to be in your wedding party.
There are many ways to ask individuals to be part of your wedding party, but the most effective ways include face-to-face or text message requests.
You can also make your request using an invitation card. Below, we highlight how to ask for groomsmen using any one of these tactics.
How to ask for groomsmen: Ideas for face-to-face requests
01Make your announcement about the event, then ask the person directly.
“Hey Archie, Lizzie said, “YES!” This marriage is really happening; we’ve already set the date. It’s June 25th. Can you please be my best man?”
This tactic is good because it gets the person in the mood, and he’ll more likely say “yes” rather than disappoint you in this situation.
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02Emphasize that this person is your best friend, then make your request.
“Hey Gilbert, I consider you to be my best friend, and you know how much that means to me. Would you be my best man at my wedding this June?”
This should work. When you highlight how much it means to you that this person is your best friend, you can lock him into saying “yes” to your request.
03Ask about the person’s schedule on the date of the wedding, then make your request.
“Hey man, are you busy on June 25th? I’m asking because I’d like you to be at my wedding as my best man. What do you say?”
This works because the person will reveal that he will be free on the day of your wedding. It is also straightforward, and most guys prefer it this way.
04Find out if he would feel comfortable being your best man, then you can ask him.
“Hey James, have you ever wondered what being a best man feels like? [Wait for him to respond]. I’m asking because I’d like you to be my best man in June. What do you say to that?”
The first question helps you to find out if the person could ever be interested in being the best man. If he says, “yes” to the first question, then you know he will likely say “yes” to your special request. This tactic works just fine.
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05You can ask your friend what he will be doing on the day of your wedding, then you can ask him to be your groomsman.
“Hey Joel, do you have any plans on May 16th? It’s a Saturday. If you’re free, I’d like you to be a groomsman at my wedding. What do you think?”
The straightforward request will always be the best way to make your request. Since he’ll have marked himself as free for that specific day, he will have no reason to refuse.
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06Jokingly, you can ask your close friend or brother to clear his calendar, then you can note that you’ve already added him as a groomsman.
“Hey Frankie, clear your schedule for the first Saturday in June. I am getting married, and I’ve already added you as one of my groomsmen.”
This works best with a best friend or close brother because the person can’t skip your wedding either way.
07You can ask your friend if he has a good tuxedo and matching shoes, then you can ask him to use these items on the day of your wedding as your groomsman.
“Hey Bob, have you got a sharp tuxedo and good shoes at home? [His response]. How about we put them to good use? Be one of my groomsmen at my wedding next month.”
This will work if you two are close and if he is often free on weekends.
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08You can ask your friend if he will be involved in any other weddings on or around your wedding date. Then, you can ask him to get involved in your wedding if he is free on that day.
“Peter, are you involved in any weddings on or around June 25th? If not, I’d like you to be involved in mine as my groomsman.”
He will likely accept your request because he will have revealed that he’ll be free. It also works if he is a close friend.
How to ask for groomsmen: Ideas for using text messaging or an invitation
09You can start by announcing that you’re finally getting married, then you can ask him immediately after to be your best man.
“James, I am getting married, man! I asked Trina, and she said, “yes!” Now I need a best man for the wedding, and I am choosing you!”
He will easily accept your request because you’ve stated that you’ve already chosen him. This should work if he is a close friend.
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10You can ask him directly to be your best man, then note that he is the only one you believe is the right person for the part.
“Hey man, about this wedding thing, I’d like you to be my best man. I think that you are the best person for this role and no one else could do it.”
Picking him out as the only person for the role is a sure way to trigger his emotions and get him to accept the offer. He won’t turn you down because that would make him feel guilty.
11You can tell him jokingly in the text that your future wife has picked a maid of honor, and you want him to be your maid of honor too.
“Man, about my upcoming wedding, Jill has finally chosen one of her friends as her maid of honor. Can you be my maid of honor? It would mean the world to me.”
Good-natured humor mixed with a little emotion always wins the heart’s vote. He will most likely accept your request.
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12You can write in the card that there was only one person who came to mind for the role, and it was him. Then, you can ask him formally to be your best man.
“Hey John, I have been thinking, and only one person comes to mind when I think of who my best man could be. That person is you. How would you like to be the best man at my wedding this June?”
This is straightforward. For guys, a straightforward approach always works.
13You can announce your wedding in a text message, then you can ask him to honor you by being your groomsman.
“Hey Jim, I’ve got good news. Tori agreed to marry me! The wedding is on the 25th of June. Would you do me the honor of being my groomsman?”
This works because it’s straightforward. It is also emotional enough to guilt-trip him into accepting, and it’s humbly phrased.
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14You can ask your friend if he’d like to meet lots of cute girls and drink lots of booze. Then, you can tell him about your wedding date and ask him to be a groomsman.
“Hey Tommy, how would you like to meet lots of cool women and get free booze next month? I’m getting married at the end of September, and you can be a groomsman if you’d like. The perks include beautiful women and free booze!”
This works because it meets your friend’s interests. He is bound to accept. It works best if your friend likes meeting women and drinking free alcohol.
15At the end of the invitation, you can ask your friend or family member if he is available and interested in being your groomsman. You can ask him to answer “yes or no” and call you immediately with the answer.
“Hey man, I want you to be one of my groomsmen. It won’t involve too much work. Call me please with an answer. There’s not much time left. Thanks bro!”
This is straightforward and gives the impression of urgency. It also answers the question of how much work is involved with the request. He will likely accept your request and answer quickly
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16You can give a hypothetical scenario in which you are getting married. Then, you can ask if he would offer to be your groomsman. After his response, you can reveal the truth and ask him seriously to be one of your groomsmen.
“Hey man, imagine I got married to Jane today, like right now, would you accept to be my groomsman? [His response]. That’s cool. I’d like you to be one of my groomsmen in 3 months in that case. I hope you’re free!”
This works because you are sure he would like to be a groomsman at your wedding on any day of the week. It’s also a humorous way of making the request.
There is no specific way to ask someone to be your groomsman or best man. However, you can be creative and still get your point across.
Not every man can muster up the courage when it comes to how to ask for groomsmen to be present at his wedding. Nonetheless, we have a solution for you if you’re having some trouble. You can copy our ideas above on how to ask for groomsmen to be part of your special day.