In the past 20 years or so, things have changed a lot for the LGBTQ community. However, there are still many rotten eggs who throw around slurs and call people gay mindlessly, so it helps to know what to say when someone calls you gay.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but people don’t always put a lot of thought into what to say. Before you know it, you’re stuck in an awkward or uncomfortable moment with no idea of what to say.
The way we see it, there are only two correct responses (and no, it doesn’t involve a slap across the face):
Option 1: Change the subject or distract everyone from the awkward moment. This is for the non-confrontational readers who just want to move on without making a scene or who refuse to feed into the nonsense.
Option 2: A witty response to let the person know that was wrong (or stupid). This can come in the form of educating the person about LGBTQ+ acceptance or shunning ignorance.
Here are 34 of the best responses you can use when someone calls you gay:
9 responses when someone deliberately tries to hurt your feelings by not acknowledging you are straight
Even when someone knows you’re straight, ignorance will empower them to use “gay” to deliberately try to hurt you. The best way to respond to this is by clarifying that there’s nothing wrong with being gay, even though you’re straight.
Here are some examples of what to say when someone calls you gay out of spite:
9 responses when you’re not gay
The audacity of some people to walk up to someone and inquire about their sexual orientation will surprise you. This is a direct violation of your privacy with a generous dash of discrimination.
We’ve compiled several examples of what to say when someone calls you gay that include direct confrontation
8 responses when someone innocently thinks you are gay while you are straight
Some people associate certain mannerisms or behavior with being gay, as well as certain aspects of one’s behavior. The truth is, we walk by people every day whose sexuality can’t be guessed based on these factors, and may even have personal relationships with people who are still in the closet.
Ignorance isn’t always malicious, and there will be people who assume you’re gay with no ill intent in mind. This doesn’t excuse ignorance, but it greatly influences the appropriate response.
These are examples of what to say when someone calls you gay innocently:
8 responses when someone calls you gay while you actually are, but prefer being called by your name
The gay community experiences discrimination at every level, and even as you read this, someone, somewhere, is being called a gay slur. When certain people discover you’re gay, that’s all they will see you as, and they will show their lack of respect and acceptance by calling you “gay” instead of your actual name.
This will require you to put your foot down, because unless you do, the abuse is likely to continue. This is what to say when someone calls you gay instead of your actual name:
Unfortunately, the world can be a cruel place sometimes, especially for the LGBTQ+ community. What’s good is that we have the support of each other to get us through these times, and enough allies to make us feel welcome in society.
With that being said, whenever you need it, you can refer to these sets of examples of what to say when someone calls you gay to stick up for yourself or ignore the nonsense.