Getting engaged is one of the most important events of your life, no doubt. We know you’re quick to dream about the wedding and the honeymoon, but hold on for just a second.
Are you sure it’s the right decision? Use these questions to ask before you get engaged to ensure if you’re making the right move or not.
Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged (for Yourself)
You might be head over heels in love, but it’s never too late or too early to question yourself. Use these questions to ask before you get engaged to clear things up with yourself.
No matter what anyone else says, this is your life and you should be 100% sure that you’re making the right move.
01“Am I completely sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with this person?”
Think about all the scenarios you will go through with this person. Don’t think just about today, tomorrow or next year.
Think about promotions, mishaps, events and everything else that might arise. If there is something you don’t like, or if you aren’t sure, maybe you should consider it more before following through.
That’s why, before proposing, this is one of the most important questions to ask before you get engaged.
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02“Am I doing this because I want to or because I’m scared that I won’t find anyone else?”
We’ve all been hurt at some point in our lives and it can create a mess in our heads. It’s easy, if you have low self-esteem, to think you won’t be able to find someone else.
Don’t think this way! If you are doing this because of desperation, don’t propose to them. Take some time to work on you – possibly alone!
03“Have we been through enough for me to make this decision?”
In relationships, it’s easy to think everything is perfect, especially during the early ‘honeymoon’ phase. But have you been through enough together?
Sometimes, you might fool yourself into thinking the relationships is perfect because there haven’t been any trials or tribulations. If the answer is no, wait for a bit and see how things go. You have nothing to lose.
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04“Do we have any unresolved issues?”
Has something been bothering you about your partner? Do you feel something is bothering your partner about you?
Think about the atmosphere in your relationship. Is it positive or do you feel something is wrong and you haven’t talked about it?
If you think there are any issues, stop for a moment and talk with your partner. Their answer will solidify your decision.
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05“Am I suspecting something is wrong?”
There is nothing wrong with being suspicious, especially when such a big decision is upon you. This is perhaps one of the most important questions to ask before you get engaged.
If you think it’s possible that your partner is cheating or hiding something from you, stop for a second and think. Take some time to look for clues and see if your suspicions are true. If everything is okay, go for it.
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06“Do they fit into my future plans?”
Getting engaged is about you, not just the other person. Before you pop the questions, give a little thought to what you want in life.
Do you have any lifelong dreams that you want to fulfill? Does that coincide with your engagement plans? If you think your partner doesn’t want to be a part of these plans, don’t propose.
Talk to them, see if your goals match, or are complimentary and then assess the situation.
Every relationship requires a bit of sacrifice, but an engagement is even more complicated. Think about what you might have to sacrifice to be with your partner in the future?
Do they live in another state? Do they have to travel a lot? If you have to change your life too much, you might want to reconsider your decision. What is best for your future, your mental health and your dreams.
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08“How will they react if I change my mind?”
What happens if you suddenly change your mind? If your partner really wants to be with you, they will say that they love, and that marriage is just a small part in your entire relationship.
If you do worry there is a chance, you’ll change your mind though, regardless of their reaction, you shouldn’t go through with it if, saving you both potential heartaches. Take your time.
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Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged (for Your Partner)
You might think you know your significant other, but you might be in for a rude awakening when it’s too late. Talk to your partner openly using these questions to ask before you get engaged.
These questions should help make things much clearer, helping to solidify your decision.
09“Do you want to have children?”
It’s best to ask this question frankly and directly. If your partner doesn’t want to have children and you do, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them?
Do you think you will be happy knowing that your lifelong wish will go unfulfilled? If you love your partner more than you care about your own wishes and urges, do it. If not, don’t propose and break it off.
10“How do you feel about my family? Are there any issues?”
They don’t have to be best friends with their in-laws, but there will most certainly be times when everyone must get together. If they have a problem with them, now is the best time to say it.
Airing everything out will help solidify your relationship and you’ll be ready to propose. If there are any deeper issues involved, it’s up to you.
However, be objective. Just because they’re your family, doesn’t mean they’re good people. He or she may have a point.
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11“What will we do if we’re in a conflict? How about rough patches?”
Most people think they’re ready for an engagement, but they only think so because they haven’t thought about potential rough patches. Are they ready to be with you even when you do something to annoy or anger them?
Listen to how your partner answers. This is the best way to know if you should get engaged.
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12“Are you religious? If so, how much?”
Sometimes, religious differences can break a relationship. If you’re Jewish and they are Christian, she might not want to get married in a synagogue.
Of course, people can be just faithful and not care about conventional religious rules. In this case, you don’t have anything to worry about. But before marriage, you should consolidate what you want.
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13“Do you want a big wedding?”
If your opinions about the size of the wedding differ, maybe it’s not the right time. Give it a little more thought and talk again.
Compromise is a big part of a successful relationship, it’s best to know you two are able to achieve one, before you tie the knot.
You will be sharing a house and many more things together. It’s important to know all about your future financial obligations.
If you are thinking of proposing, you probably already have an idea of whether your financial habits match. If they don’t match perfectly, it is a point worth considering; whether you can live with the differences.
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15“Are we truly ready for ‘for better or for worse’?”
Sickness, health, trouble, joy – are they ready to be with you through all of that? Ask this question nicely because it may sound like an accusation.
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16“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
If your partner wants to settle down and you want to travel the world (or vice versa), maybe you’re not meant for each other. These differences can break up any marriage.
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Concluding thoughts
If these questions only solidified your love for the other person, then congratulations. Love requires reinforcements sometimes, especially after the newness wears off.
If not, then we’re also glad you didn’t make a hasty decision. We hope these questions to ask before you get engaged helped you in doing what you think is right.
