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How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend without Undermining Yourself

How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend without Undermining Yourself

Everyone is capable of being wrong sometimes. As a man, you owe it to your girlfriend to show her that you can put your ego aside and apologize when you have offended her. When a simple apology is given it can make a lot of wrongs, right.

One of the unhealthiest actions to take in a relationship is to allow a situation or argument to go cold before giving an apology or before trying to address it.

Know when to apologize, don’t abuse the words “I am sorry”, you don’t necessarily have to undermine yourself or deprive yourself of self-respect just to look apologetic. But do not be sarcastic with your apology either. It is best to apologize when you know why you are truly in the wrong, and to sincerely address it. Here are little tips for how to apologize to your girlfriend.

What you should pay attention to when trying to apologize to you girlfriend


01The way you apologize


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If there is some form of distance between you and your girlfriend, like a long-distance relationship but you really need to apologize to her, you can write it out in words; like a text or an email.

After that, you can put a call forward. Although most times it is better to say it face to face in person. You can decide to make it more romantic by adding a bouquet of flowers, writing it as a poem, or inscribing it on a card.

If you still can’t seem to get across to her, you can try going through your mutual friends or close family members.




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This is referring to the real issue at hand. When you apologize, try to dissect the real cause of the dispute and anger. It is one thing to say “I am sorry for what I did” and another to say “I am sorry I could not make it to your graduation”.


03Apologize giving a specific explanation


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Most times just saying, “I’m sorry” is not enough. Even when you say, “I am sorry I could not make it to your graduation”, it is still not enough. Take time to explain when you apologize, you owe it to her to give real and genuine reasons why you could not make it.

If there is something in your mind, now is a good time to let her know. If you feel that the scenario might repeat itself again, include it in your apology, so there won’t be any further need for you to apologize should it happen again. Instead, there would be an established understanding.

Avoid lies at all cost, when you say something that is not true it makes it hard for you to make up supporting facts to vindicate yourself. So whatever the outcome might be, at least you know you said the truth and eventually she would know it too.


04Mood of your girlfriend


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It is normal for your girlfriend’s temper to rise when there is an argument or when she feels wronged. Some people get gloomy, cool, or just want to be alone even after an apology is given while some others show their anger through their body language and sometimes even get violent.

Best thing is to study the mood of your girlfriend, hold or cuddle her while you apologize and give her some time to calm down if needed.


05Ask necessary questions


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It is possible for a situation to get so out of hand and twisted that even you might be confused as to what you did wrong. In this case, there is nothing wrong with you asking questions instead of just assuming and coming up with wrong conclusions. Ask her to explain what what happened, and how you upset her.


Apology examples for what you SAID


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01“I am sorry I called you fat. I was insensitive and I hurt your feelings. I know it seems like I was making fun of you, but I wasn’t. Next time I would express myself more carefully.”


02“I am sorry for speaking rudely to your parents. I have no excuse for disregarding them, and I shouldn’t have allowed my anger to come over me. Please accept my apology.”


03“I apologize for raising my voice at you. I should not have yelled and I will work on controlling my voice. No matter how angry I am. I am so sorry my love.”


04“I haven’t been completely honest with you. Sometimes I am troubled as to how you would react when I tell you the truth. It still doesn’t mean I should have lied. Can we talk about how to make it more comfortable for me to tell you the truth from the beginning?”



05“I was not myself when I said those words. You are a queen and you don’t deserve to be spoken to in that manner. I am sorry I used insulting and condescending words towards you. Please believe me when I say it will never happen again.”


06“I allowed my ego to get the best of me. I wanted to apologize initially but I just didn’t know how to – I am sorry for not having the guts to say “I am sorry” when I should have.”


07“Is there something you feel I should have said that I haven’t? As an introvert, I hoard thoughts a lot and sometimes I have no inclination to express myself. I am sorry I am not always outspoken.”



08“You know the nature of my work. I put my phone away when on duty so I can concentrate. I am sorry I do not respond or reply to your messages/texts on time. But why don’t we schedule specific times for me to check in.”


09“I am sorry for always blaming you. For always claiming to be right, even. I should be man enough to own up to my faults. I am so sorry darling.”


10“I have had a rough relationship in the past. I am really lucky to have you and I know it. I am sorry for always talking about my ex. I value what we have and I don’t want to let it go.”


Apology examples for what you DID


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Photo by Sharon Garcia on Unsplash


11“After all the time we have spent together I know you know I respect you a lot. If I have in any way been overly controlling, I am sorry. I do not mean to be bossy. I am just always concerned about you.”


12“Do you for a moment think I would intentionally forget a day so memorable? I have been overwhelmed lately and I completely forgot. Belated Happy birthday my love, I am sorry.”


13“I am sorry for being self-centered. For always putting myself first. And for being selfish. Do accept my apology.”


14“I know I have not been doing the things I should, and I take up my responsibilities in this relationship. I am sorry I have not been supportive – from now on I will put in a lot more effort.”



15“I do not want us to grow apart. I know I need to be there for you more. I am sorry I have been away for too long. I tried to keep in touch as much as possible but something always came up.”


16“If you find me lagging, please be patient with me. I know I should do more to show you that I really care. I am sorry for I have not put in my best in expressing how much you mean to me”


17“I am sorry for not being in the moment with you. I would definitely be the luckiest man on earth should we get married. I just need a little more time to get myself ready.”


18“It tears me apart to see you cry. I know I have wronged you beyond forgiveness. But I am pleading with you to have a change of heart. I am sorry I had an affair it would never happen again.”


19“I cannot compare you to any other person I have met. I got carried away with my anger. I didn’t notice that what I have now is far better than what I ever had. I am sorry for initially using you as a tool to get back at my ex.”



20“You have done everything right and you deserve to be trusted. I am sorry I lose my cool easily. I can’t stand the thought of losing you to someone else. I am sorry for always getting jealous when I clearly have no reason to be.”


Conclusion on how to apologize to your girlfriend


Apologising to your girlfriend does not make you less of a man, instead, it makes you more desirable to your partner. Every woman longs for a man who will treat her as a queen.

If you currently have an angry girlfriend, having just read this article you are now ready to apologize properly to her. Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to be patient; it is not advisable to apologize and demand a quick answer or hasty decision.

If the initial reply from her is not favorable to you then give her reasonable time to come around. You should be able to differentiate when your girlfriend is angry and when she is just seeking your attention. You don’t have to apologize for every minuscule nag or complain she makes, if that happens then it should be addressed accordingly.