Sometimes, writing the perfect breakup letter can be a daunting task. It can seem impossible to find the right words to convey one’s emotions, especially when, finding the right words means the experience will be less damaging for both parties involved.
The wrong words, on the other hand, can be very hurtful, so take the time to find the right words to use in a breakup letter.
The dos and don’ts of writing the breakup letter
Samples of a breakup letter
I need to express something, and while a letter felt like my only option due to our distance, I hope you know I am writing this with a sad heart. I would be lying if I said I had not hoped for our relationship to work out. When we met, I sincerely believed you were it.
Yet, over the past few months, I have come to realise that we have grown apart. The distance between us is like a barrier. We don’t see each other as often as I think we need to, for this relationship to last. I just need more.
That is why I am writing you this letter, I think it is time we put an end to the emotional stress of missing each other, but not always being able to see each other.
The fact that I could not be present at your [recent event] to support you, is part of what made me realize you also deserve more.
Take care and thank you for the memories.
I am sorry that time and communication has not helped to remove the image of you with someone else from my mind or heart. You cheated on me, instead of coming to me with whatever was making you feel unsatisfied.
In some ways, I can understand – I don’t completely blame you. But I cannot accept that you chose not to be honest with me.
I cannot see how we move past this – I have realized I can’t trust you.
I know you say you still love me. I still love you, but I don’t think that is enough without communication and trust.
I hope you take the time to reflect on why you chose to have an affair instead of working through it, before committing to someone else.
Please do not contact me, it will hurt too much, and it’s best if we both move on.
We are at that stage in our lives where, I believe, it is important we start looking at our partner’s goals and aspirations, and their plans to achieve them.
We have been together for a while now and I have clearly highlighted what I want in life.
When I look at your goals and motivation to achieve them, I realize that we are, unfortunately, headed in different directions. I think if you look at what we each want, you too will see they’re different.
I wish I could say that love is enough of a reason to move on, regardless of this, but I don’t want to end up not loving you, because I resent these differences.
I’m sorry I’ve hurt you. I hope you see it is for the best.
It is extremely important that I get this off my chest. Over the past few months, I have really been struggling to keep up with this relationship and I think it is beginning to take a toll on me.
It’s literally not you, I think you are great and if I were in a place where I wanted to have a partner, I think we would be amazing.
But, if we’re going to be honest, you don’t want me to stick around if I know I don’t want to be in this relationship. I think you deserve more than that.
I think it is time we ended this.
I am sorry if this is a surprise. I’m sorry that I have let you down and I hope someday you accept my apology. I just can’t continue in this relationship when, ultimately, it will only hurt us both.
People say when you are in a relationship with a person, you are in a relationship with their family and friends too. I believe this to be true, and sadly, I must tell you I feel like I just don’t fit with your family.
When we are with them, I seem to feel left-out. It may just be me, but honestly, I feel like they don’t want to accept me, because they don’t like me. I know we are different, but I thought the fact that we all loved you, would be enough to make it work.
I love you so much, but I cannot ask you to choose between me and your entire family. I also hope you respect I am not actually asking you too either, because I want to be with someone where, no matter what, I don’t feel alone.
We don’t have that and at this point, I think we’ve been together long enough that if it were going to happen, it would have.
I think you are amazing, and I am so sorry this can not work out between us.
Writing this letter seems to be the most heart-breaking thing I have ever had to do. This moment is one I had never thought would come. So, imagine my surprise.
We not only love each other, but we have a partnership unlike any I’ve experienced. We have endured and experienced many incredible things and I have so much respect for you and everything you are. Honestly, when I think of moving on without you, I can’t picture it yet.
I just know for both our sakes, I must.
Passion, like respect, is a vital part of a relationship. Our companion-like love is not going to sustain us.
I am truly sorry for making this seem like a selfish decision. Please remember, I once sparked a passion in you, that has long since dimmed, too. This is for both of us.
The most important thing when writing a breakup letter is writing from the heart and letting the other party know how you truly feel and why you are honestly ending the relationship.
It is one of the hardest decisions to make, it means there is a lot of changes ahead, and frankly it is heart-breaking. Make sure you write a breakup letter that is both considerate, and final.