When you’ve found the one, and you’re sure you want to settle down and spend the rest of your life with this person, then you’re ready to marry.
But before the wedding and the subsequent marriage can even take place, your marriage proposal looms before you.
Even the most modest of us must give our prospective spouse a proposal to remember. The proposal speech and how you set about delivering it are critical to the success of your proposal plan.
For most, it is relatively easy to choose the ring and the setting for the proposal. You know your partner, so that will guide you to choose correctly.
Think carefully about the setting – remember it’s about your partner. If you’re an outdoors enthusiast but your partner isn’t, don’t suggest a camping trip and propose marriage in the great outdoors!!
Now comes the hard part: writing a proposal speech that will persuade your partner to say yes!
The temptation to write your proposal speech out and then practice it over and over again may seem like the best idea to those of us who are not born public speakers.
It may sound like a good idea, but when you finally reach the moment, it may come across as stiff, practiced and insincere. This is the last thing you want when you’re asking someone to marry you. Instead, consider jotting down a few ideas of the things you want to say in your proposal, but not the speech itself.
Memorize the things you wish to say and then play around with how to put them all together so that you when it comes time to say it, it comes across in a spontaneous, sincere manner.
Bear in mind the famous poet, Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s words from your high school literature class: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” The marriage proposal is the chance you have to tell your partner the many things you love about them.
Speak from the heart when doing this, and don’t go for the obvious reasons such as ‘you’re beautiful’, ‘you’re kind,’ or ‘you’re funny.’ Think beyond those things to the real reasons you love this person and want to spend the rest of your life in a marriage with them. Include telling your partner about the exact moment you knew you were going to marry them.
Don’t choose too many reasons you really love your partner. Keeping it simple will help keep it seem authentic.
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The last thing your partner wants to hear during this once in a lifetime moment is a long droning speech from you. If you’re going to hit a home run, your partner will be champing at the bit to say yes, so if you are overly loquacious, you will ruin their moment.
Once you’ve made the list of the things you want to say in your proposal, namely the reason you want to marry your partner, look at it critically.
Pare it down if it seems too long. Take out the more trivial things and focus on the few important points that you need to convey during. Think about it: if you’re on bended knee for the duration of the marriage proposal and it’s too long, you might not be able to stand up and celebrate when you get the answer you’re hoping for!
It may not sound like a lot of time, but you can fit a lot into 30-45 seconds, which is what you should aim for. Once you go beyond 60 seconds, you’re performing a soliloquy!
Remember, if your love radar is accurate (and it probably is), your partner is as in love with you as you are with them. They want to marry you. They may have been waiting for ages for this marriage proposal.
They love you for who you are, and they don’t want a proposal that isn’t consistent with your personality and character. So, if you’re generally a private person, keep the proposal site private so that you feel uncomfortable, and something unexpected doesn’t interfere.
Make sure to be authentic to yourself in whatever you say to your partner when you ask them to marry you. Again, you don’t want the proposal speech to appear insincere, and not holding true to who you are may create that impression.
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So many things can go wrong during your proposal speech. You could forget what you want to say, or you could stumble over your words. It could start raining as you get down on one knee.
You might spill your dinner on your lap because you’re so nervous. Your partner might not see the ring in the champagne glass and take a big gulp!
It is advisable to try and think of some of the worst-case scenarios and how you could handle them. But remember, that even if things do go off track, keep your eye on the prize and get that marriage proposal made.
Anything like the examples above will not change your partner’s mind about whether they love you. It will make an entertaining anecdote when you recount the story of your epic marriage proposal to your family and friends.
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It is important to remember that no matter how many spectators you have during your proposal speech, you are speaking to one individual and asking them to marry you.
Maintain eye contact with your partner and try to tune out the distractions around you. Eye contact is a very sincere form of communication. Since the eyes are the windows to the soul, your eyes will tell a story that your partner understands.
Eyes do the trick if the words you say in the proposal speech don’t come out quite right. This is a moment both you and your partner will remember throughout your marriage, so make it as sincere and special as possible.