It should not happen, but kids do get bullied.
Whether this is from someone who is intentionally trying to cause hurt or someone who just doesn’t understand the hurt they have or do suffer themselves.
Regardless of the motivation, no child should have to deal with it alone.
Having an appropriate comeback can put the bully off balance, filling you with confidence. It is true that words hurt, and you should arm yourself with the best defense: more words.
Check out our list of perfect comebacks for kids.
Photo by Porapak Apichodilok under Pexels License
Having a comeback is not about intentionally hurting someone else but about protecting and empowering yourself.
When people hide behind words, they are often scared and afraid; by coming back with words, you are showing that you are not scared and afraid of them.
No one should be bullied, and by empowering yourself, you are avoiding making yourself an easy target.
A great comeback can flip the power dynamic and give you the upper hand. Let’s take a look.
01 “I’ve run into a lot of people like you, but I usually have to pay.”
This one seems innocuous at first, but when they think about it, they realize that you are comparing them to a circus act or a freak show. Even better if you have to explain it to them.
Photo by Becky Phan under Unsplash
02 “They say that the universe is composed of protons, electrons, and neurons. Too bad there are also morons.”
As comebacks for kids go, this is a great way to call someone a moron without actually saying it.
03 “Everyone thinks that you are stupid. I think that you just have bad luck thinking.”
Turns a single insult into a group insult. It also doesn’t sound like you are insulting them by giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Photo by Nick Fewings under Unsplash
04 “Sorry, I did not get that. I don’t speak moron”
Calling someone a moron without actually calling them a moron can be very satisfying. They may also not get it at first, which is even better.
05 “You’ve taught me how petty and cruel a bully can be. It wasn’t a lesson I’d wanted to learn but, now I know. Thanks.”
It calls the person out for being a bully and makes them think about how their behavior affects other people.
06 “There is a reason that no one likes you. You!”
You are telling the bully that they are accountable for their own behavior and make them think about that.
Photo by Kat Jayne under Pexels License
07 “You know, happy and secure people have no reason to put others down.”
The greatest comebacks for kids are the ones which make the bully think about their behavior. It also empowers them. This comeback connects their behavior with something that is true about themselves.
08 “Are you constipated, because you talk like you are full of crap.”
This one is funny as other kids will laugh at the reference to feces. One of the great comebacks for kids is to incite laughter in others.
Photo by Alexas_Fotos under Pixabay License
09 “Breaking news! This just in: you are a bully with nothing worth listening too.”
It has a little showmanship in here which makes it great when there is a group around. You can also switch however you call them out to your favorite insult or message to them.
Image from Pixabay under CCO License
10 “You aren’t bothering me. You need to care about someone for them to affect you.”
Not only are you telling them that you do not care about them, but you are also letting them know that you are unaffected by their behavior.
11 “You know, if you are waiting for me to care about your bad attitude, you are going to be waiting a while.”
The best comebacks for kids are the ones which show that the behavior does not affect you. This strips the power from the bully.
12 “You have your whole life to be a moron. Why not take today off?”
Again, you are calling someone a moron without calling them a moron. What could be better than that?
13 “Do you know what sound I love? The sound of you shutting up.”
Starts nice and ends nasty. No matter what they say now, you’ve taken their power away.
Photo by Alex Smith under Pexels License
14 “You know, it is actually pretty easy to be a decent human being. You should try it sometime.”
This comeback points out bad bullying is. It provides a solution to their bullying too, just trying to change. To stop the bully effectively, you need to make them consider their actions.
15 “Sorry, I can’t remember when I asked for your opinion?”
It shows the attitude of not caring, which bullies hate.
16 “How long did it take you to come up with that one?”
It is a classic comeback and can be used with almost any insult or comeback. They won’t have a response for this.
17 “You should quit trying to be a smart ass when it is clear you are just an ass.”
Totally negates their insult or comeback and puts you on the front foot. One of the best comebacks for kids.
Photo by AnnaKovalchuk under Pixabay License
18 “Did you stay up all night thinking of that comeback?”
Again, it makes the comeback they just said seem lame, no matter what it was.
Photo by Nikolai Ulltang under pexels license
19 “Everyone has a right to their opinion, and we all have a right to ignore it.”
With comebacks for kids, it is good to have some which seem to pit everyone against the bully. This comeback does just that.
20 “I would insult you back, but I am not sure that you would get it.”
Works for any insult, and you get to call them stupid to their faces, and they may not even know.
21 “I’ve been called a lot worse by people a lot better than you.”
You are telling them that their insult is not very good, and neither are they.
22 “Have a nice day. Preferably somewhere else.”
Ends the conversation and tells them to go away at the same time. Comebacks for kids can be as simple as you like.
Photo by monicore under pexels license
23 “Do you know what’s funny? Definitely not you, so just shut up.”
Another of the greatest comebacks for kids which can be used after any insult or comeback. No matter how funny someone is, this comeback always stops them in their tracks.
Bullying is no laughing matter, but you can defuse the situation by using one of these great comebacks for kids. If you find yourself in a situation where you are being bullied, you can arm yourself with words.
If you are being bullied, the best course of action is always to talk to a trusted adult. Showing that you are not an easy target can help to limit bullying, but it may not always be the solution.
Read over our list and memorize a few lines. Remember, only use these words if you are being bullied yourself, and never use them to bully someone else.