Having to break up with your girlfriend is neither an easy nor enjoyable experience. It becomes even more difficult if the relationship you were in was a serious or lasted a couple of years.
No matter how much you hate the idea of having to break up with your girlfriend, if you realize that your relationship isn’t headed anywhere, it could be time to pull the plug. Here’s how to break up with your girlfriend without drama.
Things to Look out for When Breaking Up with Your Girlfriend
You may be trying to figure out how to break up with your girlfriend without it having to be miserable and include a lot of drama. As some experts have said, breaking up with someone is an art. You can easily sail through it when you do what needs to be done.
So what should you be cautious of when breaking up with your girlfriend.
01Don’t break up with your girlfriend over text or through email
Most people might see this as the easy way out as they won’t have to do it face to face. However, this is a cowardly way out and may leave your soon to be ex-girlfriend to be with lots of unanswered questions.
That’s why you owe them a face-to-face explanation. Be man enough, prepare for the worst and break up with your girlfriend to her face.
Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR under pexels license
02Try to be as clear as possible when breaking up
Your partner may be in denial when you break up with them and they may plead with you to take them back. Avoid leaving it open-ended and giving them false hope of getting back together.
When you are clear with them that the relationship is over, it’ll be better for both of you in the end.
‘It’s not you, it’s me‘ must be one of the most used clichés when figuring out how to break up with your girlfriend. Saying this will only spark your girlfriend’s anger.
Be specific and explain your reasons as to why you want the relationship to be over. Share the details and examples of why you think your relationship isn’t going anywhere.
Photo by Fred Mouniguet under unsplash license
04Avoid being mean, try and be kind, but at the very least, but careful
A Break up comes with stress and sadness for both parties. Trying to figure out how to move on with their own lives without each other, can take a while.
If you aren’t careful, this process can take longer than needed, ending up a war of words, possibly putting each other down.
If you are trying to find ways for how to break up with your girlfriend, consider it a constructive experience. It’ll be emotionally challenging, but it’ll allow both of you to improve as a person.
Photo by Allan Filipe Santos Dias under unsplash license
05Breaking up with your girlfriend should be a private affair
If you were in a relationship that lasted some time, it’s likely you have common friends and acquaintances between you and your girlfriend. Your lives become connected overtime and friends become shared.
When breaking up with your girlfriend, the best was to be respectful towards her and the time you’ve shared is to avoid telling people you dumped your girlfriend.
When you keep the breakup private, things are likely to go smooth and you’ll remain in good terms with each other. If someone asks, a polite response is best.
When you are newly single, there may be periods of loneliness that could lead you to rethink your partner’s company. You may be tempted to contact them, which will certainly set you back in your breakup.
Making that call will confuse you both. You are likely to lead your ex-girlfriend on, possibly giving them false hope of getting back together. Contacting your ex after a breakup is unhealthy and unproductive. Don’t do it.
Photo by SkitterPhoto under pexels license
07Don’t be your girlfriend’s support system after break up
Seeing someone you had or have feelings for, hurting is hard. Especially if you are the cause. You cannot offer to be their support system after your breakup though.
It is best if both of you to look for alternative ways, and support systems, in order to move on.
Image from Rawpixel.com under pexels license
08Be honest.
A break-up is hard, because it means something has changed between you, in a way that honestly, usually isn’t anticipated. If the breakup was caused by an aspect or trait about your partner, be honest.
It is hard to do, but if you find a gentle way to say, ‘You become incredibly demanding, which I loved how you knew what you wanted, but it seemed like I started to become overlooked’ can help them avoid heartbreak next time.
Remind her of her positive sides, to help with the pain of what you’ve just said.
Photo by Jon Tyson under unsplash license
09Don’t drag it out
Conversations are never easy when people disagree, and break ups are rarely where people are seeing eye-to-eye.
Try to avoid conflict, negativity, or saying things, just to have the last word. And keep the conversation direct. Doing this will help you avoid ending the relationship on a sour note.
Relationships are still at risk of being brought up over social media. Talk about whether you will stay connected, or if it’s too painful.
If the breakup is mutual, or she at least understands, acknowledge that you still have commonality, but that you will try and respect their space, socially.
Photo by William Iven under unsplash license
Scripts to Help You Decide What to Say When Breaking up with Your Girlfriend
When you’ve decided to break up with your girlfriend, you need to find a good time to talk to her. It’s important to have a respectful, clear, and fair conversation.
When figuring out how to break up with your girlfriend, you need to plan, prepare and know what you are going to say.
01[Girlfriend’s name], you’ll always have a special place in my heart. Our relationship has always meant a lot to me; you’ve made me so happy. Lately though, things haven’t be feeling as right.
I just want to be honest with you. While I like and respect you a lot, I no longer love you like I did. I can’t, and you shouldn’t want, to stay in a loveless relationship.
I wish you the best in the future and hope you can meet someone who’ll love you the way you deserve.
Mentioning her name at the beginning will help reassure her that she is still dear to you. This script goes ahead and gives a reason as to why the relationship isn’t working and lets your partner know that you aren’t bitter.
Image from Pixabay under pexels license
02Just like the ocean tide, love will come and go and whether the love stays together or not, is based on the strength and commitment of both people.
[Girlfriend’s name] we are at low tide, and it’s made me realize that my love for you is no longer as strong as it should be.
I know this isn’t what you’d want to hear, but I want to be honest with you, above all else. I know this analogy is cheesy, but I honestly hope that, like the waves you continue, with purpose and strength.
If you feel it is right, and she wants to know your real reasons, be honest about your feelings and the reason for breaking up in a way that is clear, but kind.
03[Girlfriend’s name], I think it’s time we parted our ways. This relationship isn’t working as I wanted it to.
You must know though, that it isn’t because I’ve stopped caring about you, or your happiness. I just have to make sure that I am also happy, and I am not.
I hope you understand, and appreciate that I’ve thought a lot about this and will not change my mind about this. I respect both of us too much to put us through that.
You are showing that you can still offer her respect, and are considering her feelings. Being honest this was can set the grounds for you to become platonic friends in time.
Photo by Dương Nhân under pexels license
04[Girlfriend’s name], being with you has brought me a lot of joy, at a time when I needed it. By simply being you, you’ve always brought out the best in me and your love has always been comfortable and safe.
I feel like we are at a point where we must decide whether what we have is worth keeping. I love you. I respect you. I honestly feel so good when we are together.
I just honestly don’t think that what we have is enough. I know you do- but I think you’ll see when you find the right guy, it wasn’t me. I hope you get that.
This is one of the romantic yet sympathetic ways of how to break up with your girlfriend. It’ll work, especially if you have very strong feelings for her, but know it can’t work.
This is not easy to tell you, but I’ve begun having feelings for someone new. It has been while, I was hoping it would stop. Because my feelings for them are only growing stronger, I’ve realized I must end things with you.
You don’t know them, and you are in very different parts of my life.
05It isn’t fair for me to pretend that this relationship will continue working when my heart and attention is elsewhere. You deserve better, and someone that’ll treat you right and love only you.
I won’t forget the special times we’ve shared together and hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. I just didn’t want things to get out of hand, because I respect you.
This is an honest way of how to break up with your girlfriend when you’ve found someone new.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez under unsplash licnese
06I just became aware that you’ve been cheating on me for the past couple of months. I really thought I meant something to you but it’s rather obvious the only person you care about is yourself.
It’s over between me and you and hope the same thing doesn’t happen to you. I can honestly tell you the pain that comes with being cheated on is horrible.
Infidelity is one of the fastest ways to kill a relationship and you shouldn’t settle for less. You can use this to kick the cheater to the curb without leaving any room for doubt.
07I thought I’d be able to handle a long-distance relationship but I’ve found it to be too hard. I find myself worrying too much about what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.
If the distance wasn’t that great, this relationship could have had a chance. I deeply regret this but it’s best we part ways so we are both free to move on.
This is a great way of ending the relationship on good terms and still leave an opportunity to remain friends.
08It’s time that we become realistic about our future together and after we talked, I’m sad to say that I can clearly see our futures are not aligned. We can’t ignore that we both want different things, and I think you can see that too.
It’s best we go our separate ways and end this while we’re here, instead of more invested, or… Resentful. I am sorry. I think we’ve had a good time, and I think you’ll do amazing things at [reason your dreams don’t align].
I’ll think of you fondly, and truly hope for your success.
If you find that both of you are going down different paths, this is how to break up with your girlfriend.
Photo by Caleb Jones under pexels license
Scripts to Say to Her to Calm Her Down When She Starts to Cry
01“I know this is hard for you, but it’s better we do this now. Don’t feel bad, it’s okay to cry.”
Reassure them their sadness is ok, and that (for the moment) you are there for them. Offer them comfort to help them see it’s for the best.
Photo by Kat Jayne under pexels license
02“It’s probably best for me to give you space. I do want to tell you though, that I’ll always be here for you, if you need me.”
You can show them that space, to move forward, is important but you can be there if they need you. It could lead to a good friendship, if you honestly want that.
03“To let all the pain go away, sometimes you just need to cry.”
A reassuring way of telling them it’s okay to cry.
04“I’m so sorry that I’m the cause of your pain right now. I hope you can see I needed to be honest, because I don’t want to cause more hurt later.”
You let them know that you acknowledge the fact you are the cause of their pain.
Photo by Kat Jayne under pexels license
05“If you would like to take some time to think, or just feel, I understand. We can meet again tomorrow if you want to talk about it, or later today.”
Once you’ve figured out how to break up with your girlfriend and she starts crying, give her space if she wants. Sometimes, drawing it out by comforting them isn’t helpful either.
To sum up: How to break up with your girlfriend without drama
Breaking up with your girlfriend isn’t something that anyone anticipates or looks forward to. However, as unfortunate as it is, you must go through it as a normal part of dating.
Everyone feels uncomfortable trying to come up with a way to gracefully end a relationship. It’s tough trying to figure out how to break up with your girlfriend. We’re here to help.
