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45 Sarcastic and Funny Wine Quotes

45 Sarcastic and Funny Wine Quotes

Wine, an alcoholic beverage that has been known to grace all types of occasions for thousands of years, pairs best with comedy – like compatible bothers, wine and comedy have also always gone hand in hand.

Probably because when you consume a good amount of wine you are bound to act ridiculous. Who knows the reason, or cares!

Over the ages, so many people from different occupations and walks of life have written famous funny wine quotes or told funny jokes about wine. Although sometimes the comments can be on the sarcastic side, they are usually born out of the love the person has for the fermented, satisfying and ever tasty beverage.

Wine, coined from the Latin word vinum, is one of the most common, popular and precious man-made beverages in the world; as with most great discoveries, its origin story has a lot of variations.

In fact, there are about as many variations as there are varietals, based on what region the stories are being told. There are Bordeaux reds and whites, Burgundian reds and whites, Champagne – which is sparkling wine only, Chianti and Sangiovese which are the same grape but made in different regions.

From red to white to rose, grape wine to starch based wine, there is literally an entire world to discover. And don’t forget, fruit wine and Mead are a part of the story too!


Funny Wine Quotes


01Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. – Joan Collins


Photo by Rafael Barquero on Unsplash


02I know I look silly when I take a lot of wine, but what is your own excuse?


03Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy. – Alexander Fleming


04I know I have a strong will because I have quit drinking wine a thousand times, and I will not stop but keep trying, bottle after bottle.


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels – under CC0 license


05Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise. – Charles Kingsley


06A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.


07For when the wine is in, the wit is out. – Thomas Becon


Photo by Ron Jake Roque on Unsplash


08I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite. – Bette Midler


09I believe we should have wine for dinner today, yes or yes?



10Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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11Making good wine is a skill. Fine wine is an art. – Robert Mondavi


12I tried to think of a way to always have clean bed sheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.


13Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra


Photo by Chrysostomos Galathris on Pexels – under COO license


14An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.


15I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep. —George Best


16In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. – Benjamin Franklin


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17Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy. —Gotthold Ephraim Lessing


18I get really clumsy around wine, I seem to always spill the whole bottle down my throat.


19Too much of anything is bad, but too much of champagne is just right. – F. Scott Fitzgerald


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20The best part of having visitors is opening a bottle, serving them a glass and then getting to finish it myself.


21When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman



22Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine. – Karl Marx


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23My doctor said I could take wine only on joyous occasions, and my other doctor said I should always make every day joyous. So that settles it.


24I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry. – Robert Benchley


25I drink to make other people more interesting. – Ernest Hemmingway


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26When you are stressed take wine, if you are still stressed take more wine.


27I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. – Winston Churchill


28Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life. – F. Scott Fitzgerald


Photo by osawee Suwannaphati on Pexels – under CC0 license


29The discovery of a good wine is increasingly better for mankind than the discovery of a new star. – Leonardo Da Vinci


30I am feeling really heroic today… I need to go rescue some wine trapped in their bottle.


31A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. – Louis Pasteur


Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash


32Wine… the intellectual part of the meal…. – Alexandre Dumas


33The piano has been drinking, not me. —Tom Waits



34Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever. – Aristophanes


35It’s really not my fault I drank wine all day. The bottles keep calling my name. They are attracted to me.


Phoyo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash


36I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions. —Leslie Jamison


Photo by vargazs on Pixabay


37Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. – Ernest Hemingway


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38My most important rule in life : don’t drink wine when you are sleeping


39Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. ― Pope John XXIII


40The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.


Photo by kaboompics on Pixabay – under CC0 license


41Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems. —Matt Groening



42Wine is sunlight, held together by water. – Galileo Galilei


43Good wine or bad wine…. What the heck, I’ll take both.


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44Wine is poetry in a bottle.  – Cliffon Fadiman


45I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved.- Rose Kennedy




There are plenty of opportunities to find interesting, funny or cringey-worthy facts about wine. Whether you love it, or are not into alcohol, fear not – there is even a new trend for making and drinking nonalcoholic wine and wine beverages.

Whichever pick is yours, the main aim is having a good time. You are welcome to come up with funny wine quotes of your own. They could be sarcastic, or best of all funny.