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The Golden Rules and 15+ Best Examples about What to Say on Tinder

The Golden Rules and 15+ Best Examples about What to Say on Tinder

Trying to find someone you can connect with through a dating app can be a very overwhelming process. Getting someone to go on a date with you will require smooth skills and maybe, some convincing.

So, whether you’re a pro or have just started using dating apps, knowing what to say on Tinder can take your game to the next level. Use these examples to master the golden rules of talking to your soon-to-be crush.


Golden Rules about Talking to the Crush You First Met on Tinder

There isn’t any specific way to be ‘the best’ at online dating.
Some people are naturally good at it, their charisma not impeded by a screen, and then others who have to work hard. If you are in this group, know that now, you can only mean you improve your chances by knowing what to say on Tinder.
However, it’s not to say that those naturally gifted on Tinder don’t have an edge over others; those who, regardless of how hard they try, are terrible at flirting.
The following golden rules of what to say on Tinder may not work for every single person and may work on only some people you match with. Regardless, they can still come in handy when talking to your crush.

01Make use of specific compliments.
Skim through their profile and find something you sincerely and specifically find interesting about them or want to compliment them on. It could be their taste in movies or their love for adventure that gets your eye.
In just a few words, you will have made an impact by showing that you have already taken some time to read their profile, resulting in a genuine compliment.


Photo by Artem Beliaikin under Pexels License


02Try not to come off as boring with your first statement.
The greatest disservice you can do yourself is starting with a boring opener. You should avoid starting with any version of hello, such as ‘Hi’ or ‘What’s up?’
This approach only works on the street, when you can smile and wave, moving into something more charming. It will most likely make you come off as a boring person on Tinder. Starting with such a statement makes you a potential candidate to be ghosted.


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03It’s important to ask questions.
If you’re still trying to figure out what to say on Tinder, asking questions can be a great way to get your conversation started. Ask yourself how the question would make you feel, then ask it if it would fly or be interesting.
You can also offer information about yourself first, in order to ask them a specific question, such as, ‘I love rock climbing, do you have any outdoor hobbies,’ will help break the ice.


Image from Pixabay Under CCO License


04Get straight to the point and show how serious you are.
Most dating apps make casual hangouts easy and expected. If you are looking for something that results in more than the typical, casual, hook-up then you need to take the reins.
Be upfront and let them know that you are a serious potential. Really, there’s nothing to lose!.
By showing your purpose early on, you can create the opportunity for real connections through conversations. If you know what to say on Tinder, then you can start off confidently and make an effort to go on a real date.


Photo by StockSnap under Pixabay License


05Avoid being too overtly sexual.
You shouldn’t try to get sexual during the first few texts or message. Try being friendly and avoid sounding turned on too soon; it can come off as very vulgar.
However, if you’re witty, you can be flirty since a little charm can go a long way and makes you stand out among the rest. Funny and flirty openers not only break the ice but melt it.


Photo Luis Quintero under Pexels License


06Confirm your date and don’t freak out when you don’t get a response.
You’ll get bonus points when you text to confirm the date, time, and location the day before or the morning of the date. It shows that you anticipate meeting your crush and are interested in them.
Despite all this, you shouldn’t be afraid of being ghosted. Some people get hundreds of matches every week and may not be able to keep up with all the messages.
Don’t get overly emotional and offended when someone you’ve messaged goes quiet on you. It isn’t personal, besides it’s Tinder.


Photo by Clem Onojeghuo under Unsplash License



Examples of What to Say (To Chat with a Girl)


01Quickly scan her profile, pictures, and interests to create an easy yet personal, conversation starter. You can gain so much information from her bio, even from a couple of generic selfies.
For example, if she loves food, you could ask her, ‘So what food whets your appetite?’
This will show her you’re interested in her as a person.


Photo by Erik Lucatero under Unsplash License


02You can start off by sending her a funny GIF that relates to her profile, or something wild that she’ll respond to. You could post a funny GIF of a dog dancing and say something like, ‘I’ve got some moves, but none as good as this dog.’
This is a great way to create a connection since women love to laugh. Getting her to crack a smile will definitely make her remember you.


03Starting off by engaging her in a game such as a ‘Would you rather’ or ‘Kiss, Marry, or Kill.’ You could ask something like, ‘Would you rather give up cheeseburgers and soft drinks, or marry Homer Simpson?’
This will be intriguing and fun, and will surely provoke a response from her.



04Most people have a travel pic on their profile. If you want your conversation starter to stand out, you could start with a challenge.
‘Congratulations! We’ve been selected as the winners of a free make-believe vacation. Where would you go?’
This is an engaging starter and could lead you to other topics of holidays, vacation, and more.


Photo by aymyogaschool ubder Pexels License


05You can pretend to role-play with your Tinder crush in the first message without making it R-rated. For instance, you could start with ‘You’re on the run from the police. What crime did you commit?’
When you know what to say on Tinder, you can follow it up with, ‘Who am I? The smooth police detective or the jerk who hands you over?’
This is a great way to introduce your sense of humor, and another easy way to get her to engage with you playfully.


06Using a pick-up line isn’t exactly a no-no if that is what you would say in real life. You don’t have to be clever and you could start off with this example.
‘You should know that I’ve had a crush on you for the past hour and I’m wholly committed to this Tinder relationship.’
Cheesy pick-up lines can go either way, she’ll either appreciate your sense of humor or, it may be the wrong choice! Either way, if it is natural to you, best to test it out sooner rather than later.


Photo by Artem Beliaikin under Pexels License


07Including the girl’s first name in your message can give you a high response rate, if her name is included in her profile. If she doesn’t have her name listed, be creative!
You could say something like ‘Samia, where have you been my whole life?’
Addressing someone by name is always a good way to go, but sometimes a person’s profile doesn’t provide their name. Be creative and respectful.



08The purpose of Tinder is to grab someone’s attention in a moment. If you don’t know what to say, and just want to take a stab in the dark, try something random.
You could try, ‘Swear I saw you flapping around on Berawa beach today. Or was that a mermaid?’
When you’re confused about what good message to send, think of something they’ll have to respond to.


Photo by Jeremy Bishop under Unsplash License


09You can also try to go the serious yet playful route from the get-go. Set yourself up with questions that provide you follow up questions. For instance, try something like:
‘What’s your spirit animal?’
‘Are you more of a Mufasa, Sarafina, Kiara or a Nala waiting for her Simba?’
Doing this will ensure you keep the conversation flowing.
You can also try to reverse the powerplay and make yourself seem mysterious and alluring. It can be a risky start, since you are competing with others, but you can achieve this using reverse psychology to get her chase you.
This will help keep her hooked throughout the conversation and you can have fun with it.


Photo by Magda Ehlers under Pexels License


Examples of What to Say on Tinder (To Chat with a Guy)

Knowing what to say on Tinder isn’t an art but having help can make you more successful. Women are known for not necessarily having the confidence to approach the opposite sex. However, you can try to get their attention on Tinder by getting to know them on other social media platforms.
Once they swipe right, you want to have some things prepared to say, in order to respond in a timely manner. Your preparedness will help let him know that you are interested.

01To spice up the conversation, you can use humorous one-liners or pick-up lines. It’s important to be who you are though, so make sure it is something you’d say in real life.
You could try saying, ‘So for our first date, I tried getting us reservations at the library…but they were all booked.’
Adding a little humor to your first message is one of the best ways to create a lasting impression on your match.


Photo by Amelie Ohlrogge under Unsplash License


02You can try sending him a joke to show you have a funny side to you. You can show your flirty or really funny side to get them to smile or laugh.
For example, ‘What distinguishes a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? Attire.’
This can be a great way to break the ice when the conversation stalls.



03Get to know what his agenda is so you can tell whether he interested in you. It’s important to know before you go too far and give away your phone number.
If you need to, get right to the point. ‘How about a coffee or drink? Just to meet or, if you’re interested, something more serious?’
Making your intentions clear is always a good idea.


Photo by Bich Tran under Pexels License


04If you are unsure of how to start, or what to say to get the conversation flowing, you can offer a wild card question. You can show you’re not just going to wait around, but that you can be fun and adventurous.
You could ask, ‘I have always wanted to go whitewater rafting. Have you tried it before?’
This is meant to give him insight into your personality and highlight a new side of you.


05You could ask a specific detail about something in his photo to learn more about him. You shouldn’t be afraid of giving them compliments.
You could comment such as, ‘You really look excited in your profile picture at the waterfront. What’s the place’s name?’
This is meant to show them you took the time to go through their pics. It’ll show your interest in getting their details.


06You could also try sending a GIF that would help spur the conversation. Choosing a funny or silly GIF can help advance the conversation or share something about your personality.
This can help set the tone for the conversation and get a reaction from him.


Image from Pixabay under Pexels License


07Lightly teasing him for saying something silly could help you let them know that you are genuinely enjoying your interactions.
You can try, ‘I enjoy talking to you. You seem really sweet and funny.’
This will help show that you’re interested in them.



08If you have a common interest you share with him, don’t be shy, let him know! Let’s say you’re both interested in sports, try saying:
‘I bet you’re tired from watching the penalty shots from today’s game after that boring overtime.’
This will help open doors to discuss mutual interests.


09Comment on his profile and point out something that has sparked your interest. For example, ‘I bet you’ve spent a lot of time around women, seeing that you have four sisters?’
It’s easy for everyone to respond, when the topic is about themselves.


Photo by Hannah Nelson under Pexels License


10Worse comes to worse, don’t be afraid to ask a regular, common question, such as:
‘How’s it going?’
This will allow for a natural and easy conversation to commence.


Concluding Thoughts: What to say on Tinder

Just like most apps, Tinder is a game. To be on top of the game, you not only need to have your photos and bio up but have something to say that will keep your match interested and lead to a potential date.

If you don’t have any idea of what to say on Tinder, you can use the above guide to help you. Feel free to add a personal touch to make you crush go crazy.