When someone is carrying a child, a miscarriage is one of the most tragic and unfortunate things that can happen to them. The loss of hope and happiness, and of a life so many were excited about, is a situation many people don’t know how to approach or have the right words to address.
Use one of these 15 comforting and encouraging sayings, but most of all be there for your loved one. A few words can mean a lot.
01“I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Know that I’m here for you.”
Sometimes, this is the best thing to do when you don’t know what to say to someone who had a miscarriage. Remind them of your presence and that you feel the pain they feel. Pain is easier when shared.
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02“Be gentle with yourself, it’s not your fault, and you should never blame yourself.”
A miscarriage can be incredibly confusing to a woman. Let her know that things like that happen and that she is in no way to blame for the death of her child.
03“Never think that you’re alone. At any time, at any moment, know that you can talk to me.”
Finding what to say to someone who had a miscarriage can be difficult. In some cases, it’s best not to start difficult conversations – let her know that she is free to grieve and that you are there to support her.
04“I love you, and I know how much of a fighter you are. You are built to survive every challenge and become a stronger and better person. You can do this!”
Encouragement is the way to go. Let her know that recovery is a long road, but that she will definitely make it when she is ready.
05“I am with you all through this tough time. You are brave and there is nothing you can’t overcome.”
When a woman has a miscarriage, she feels like she’s alone and abandoned. As a friend/family member, it’s your job to comfort her and let her know that she is in your thoughts.
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Adrianna Calvo under Pexels License
06“Just take all the time in the world. Don’t worry about work, chores or anything else. Focus on rest and getting better.”
If you’re thinking about what to say to someone who had a miscarriage, it’s always good to remind them that they are the priority and that recovery is above everything else.
07“If you want, you can come over to my place, and we can talk or sit in silence and watch a movie.”
Spending time in her home may be traumatic for a woman who has had a miscarriage. Offer for her to come over so she can spend time in a place filled with positive energy. Changing locations can be immensely helpful.
The worst thing about miscarriages for some women is the fact that they still have things to take care of. If these are chores, work projects or anything else – don’t let her think about that. Organize a group of friends and split those chores among yourself.
09“These next few weeks are all about you. We are here to take care of everything you need.”
When wondering what to say to someone who had a miscarriage, always channel your support first. It’s all about making sure the energy around the poor woman stays positive.
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10“Let me share your pain and make it easier for you. You’re not alone and you never will be.”
Sympathy is a strong emotion to channel. Every tragic event is easier to overcome if two or more people join forces. This is also a great way to remind her how wonderful and supportive of a person she is. Sometimes, it can help a person to find strength and courage within herself.
11“It’s okay to feel pain. I can only imagine how you feel. That baby was your dream, and it must be hard.”
People instinctively want to overcome pain as quickly as possible. Remind her that it’s a process and you’re by her side.
12“I honestly wish I knew how to comfort you and how to make you feel better, but I’m at a loss for words. My presence is unconditional.”
Not knowing what to say to someone who had a miscarriage is normal for everyone who hasn’t faced such a tragedy. Just be honest.
13“Do you want to go for a walk/to your favorite restaurant/on a weekend trip?”
Immediately after a miscarriage, it can be hard to talk. Offering your friend, a chance to do something that changes the atmosphere may lead to having a chat that takes a lot of weight off her shoulders.
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14“Can you please tell me if I do or say something wrong? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Be honest about how confused you are. Ask her how she feels and let her know that you mean no harm. She will respect you for being considerate.
15“I brought you your favorite cake/Chinese takeout/burger!”
Food causes us to stop talking and enjoy what it brings to our senses. Bringing your friend her favorite food will help her feel much better.
What to say to someone who had a miscarriage and what to avoid
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Dos:
● Remind them you’re there for them and that they are never alone
● Motivate them to talk and to seek help if they think they need it
● Offer to help with some of her daily chores to let her relax
Don’ts:
● Never say things like “it’s God’s plan” or “faith works in mysterious ways. It’s stupid and unhelpful.
● Avoid being too pushy. Sometimes, people want some time alone.
● Under any circumstances, don’t mention babies/next pregnancies or family plan ideas.
Conclusion
Knowing what to say to someone who had a miscarriage can help the person push through an immensely difficult period their life. Comforting them is important, as is just acknowledging their pain and loss.
Let them know you’re there, pick your words and don’t let them give up at all costs. That’s what friends and family are for.
